Tuesday night

It's so weird how tired we all get by night.  I can see why Hannah is tired but the rest of us are dragging around by 8:00.  I guess emotional exhaustion is as real as physical.  It seems by evening Hannah is so tired that everything seems overwhelming and then even the little frustrations are amplified.  Because of this she is usually sad in the evenings and that's hard to watch.  Tonight though I read her some Valentines that her cute cousins sent her, and I also some letters from friends at home and it really seemed to cheer her up.  Hopefully she can sleep well and be ready to go tomorrow.

This hospital has some awesome things to try and help healing.  One thing that has really been helping Hannah is getting massages.  She has been getting really tense from all her frustrations and then this masseuse comes and works his magic and she's a new girl.  I told her not to get used to it but I think she already is.  They also use aromatherapy and she has loved that too.  I think integrating these kinds of things with conventional methods is so great.  I love that this hospital is open new ways of thinking when it comes to healing!

Well, it's 9:00 so I better be getting to bed-ha ha Yes, I am acting like I'm 80 but 3 a.m. comes around fast-that's when they come in to draw labs and wake Hannah up.  Yep-their days start early around this place.  CRAZY!!!  Good night everyone.

Tuesday day

Hannah had been waking up at 3 am for the past few nights and so last night they decided to give her some melatonin at 2.  Yep it worked.  She has pretty much just wanted to sleep today.  She did have the swallow study this morning and it went well.  She can start to eat a little bit-a modified diet that does not include Chik-FilA, but it's a start!  They also will be giving her more therapy time.  The minimum requirement to get into the rehab program is three hours a day, so I think in a few more days she'll be there.  I'm hoping she can start next week.  I'm kind of nervous about the program because it sounds pretty intense, and I hope she will be strong enough for it.  I know it will be good for her but I also think she still needs lots of rest for her brain.  This learning to talk again is a hard hard thing and seems to take so much energy!  I know most the time she is so frustrated, but she really is getting better at letting us know what she's thinking.  Today she was trying to tell us something for the longest time-and the only word I could understand was hungry.  I thought she meant she was hungry, but we finally understood that she was worried about our pets at home being hungry.  I think she doesn't have much faith in her parents to take care of business.  But all is well and no animals have starved to death.  Points for us! Write more tonight.

Monday night

Ok-Apparently there were some of you who thought I was just going to let Hannah go to town on a whole chik-fil- a sandwich (hmmmm like MY OWN CHILDREN)! Give me a little credit-ha ha That wasn't my plan.  But actually when Paul got back with the food she had chickened out of eating the chicken.  She is still really hesitant to eat because she's afraid of choking.   Anyway, Paul said he'll go back tomorrow after her swallow test and get her another one.  At least now we know what sounds good to her.
She is beyond tired tonight.  She worked so hard in therapy and insisted on taking three more short walks.  It's crazy to see how weak you can get after a month of being out of commission.   Needless to say all of that really wore her out.  But she seemed quite proud of herself for walking. I'm happy when she can see that she is making progress- I think it gives her the motivation to keep going and to push herself.
My brother Paul is here for a few days and Hannah seemed really glad to have him come.  We were sitting here tonight talking about all the nice things people have said and done for our family since this all began.  He said, "If we could all just hear these kinds of stories everyday instead of listening to the news, think what a different perspective we would have of the people in this world."  That's so true. I wholeheartedly believe most people are so good, and kind, and compassionate.  But sometimes after watching the news you wonder if anyone has those qualities anymore.  We are so bombarded with the crazy and awful things people are doing in this world that we start to get a warped perspective of what the bulk of humanity is really like.
 My long time wonderful friend came to visit tonight.  She brought an envelope with a lot of money in it.  She told me that her ten year old neighbor had been having bake sales the last few months because she wanted to raise money to help someone.  When she heard about Hannah she decided she wanted to give the money to her.  So she brought it to my friend who brought it to us.  I could hardly believe that someone would want to help a person they had never met in such a generous and Christ-like way.  And to know all the work that had gone in to raising the money (by her and her mom I'm sure) made it even more meaningful.  I went back to Hannah's room and told her.  She got the cutest expression on her face that I have ever seen.  It was a combination of joy and awe.   She couldn't believe someone she didn't know could be so kind.  I hope someday soon we get to met this awesome little girl.  She is the perfect example all the is right in this world.
Today I am so overwhelmed and grateful for the miracles we've seen.  I believe in the power of prayer and I want you to know how thankful we are for all your prayers that have been said on behalf of Hannah.  We couldn't have made it without them and without your love.  Thank you.

Monday afternoon

Sorry I'm so late in writing today.  It's been a big day.  This morning about 7 Hannah woke up and let me know she wanted to stand up.  I thought she just want to go a few steps to the bathroom so I started helping her-but nooo she had MUCH BIGGER PLANS.  She started out the door, which sent two nurses scrambling to grab all her lines and the IV pole, and she continued on down the hall.  I said I feel like I just saw Lazarus rise from the dead. It was the craziest thing I have ever seen! (They have nick named her Lazarus). I guess she was just sick of laying around and decided to get moving.  Everyone who saw her do it was awe struck.  I was holding on to her arms but she was supporting and walking herself! I just wish the neurologist who said she'd most likely never walk again would have been there.  So another day and another unbelievable miracle!  This girl may have more than her fair share of trials, but she also has had more miracles than anyone I've ever known. It's amazing to watch the hand of the Lord in her life on a daily basis. My heart is full!

Ok I was just about to post this when Hannah got really agitated trying to tell me something.  We finally guessed she wants to eat!  She's not supposed to eat until tomorrow when they give her the "official" swallow test but she's been eating little bits of things for the speech therapist and doing well.  So we start naming things-pudding?  applesauce?  potatoes?  no! no! no!  She was getting more and more frustrated when she finally blurted out (very mumbled but I still understood it) Chik Fil A! ha ha Can you believe that?  So her uncle Paul was here and he tore out of here like his pants were on fire-ha ha He is now on his way to Chik Fil A and will shortly be smuggling in some food to his favorite girl.
I'll let you know how this goes tonight.  Wish us luck-ha ha

Sunday night

Hannah had a good day.  She really loved having Taylor here.  Tonight both he and Bob had to leave.  I know Bob feels sick when he has to go back.  I feel bad for him. 

Today we had some of our favorite people here.  They mentioned how great it was to see Hannah smile because it seemed like her old self was back again.  It's so funny they said that because I had been thinking today about how I had felt so hopeless with Hannah's situation, and then one day she smiled, and I knew she was back.  They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but in Hannah's case it's definitely her smile too.

I have spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering why this would happen to Hannah.  It has bothered me because even though I know that we all have tests and trials, it seems like she has had more than her fair share.  It also seems like this is such a refiner's fire, and it doesn't seem to me like she needed much refining?  Maybe her family does?  I don't know, but I do know I've gone through a whole realm of possibilities and in the end I've come up as uncertain as when I began.  But what I have come up with is this; Someday I will know, maybe not in this lifetime, but someday.  And until that day comes, I just have to have faith that God knows- and trust that because He is a loving father, she's in good hands.  These have been my thoughts, and then today my wonderful niece sent me this poem.  It has always been one of my favorites, but I had forgotten about it until today.  So thanks for sharing it Katie.

By Corrie Ten Boom

“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.”

AWWWWWW sweet brother!!!!!

Sunday afternoon

Crazy rough night but today is a good day.  I don't know if it's because she has started to eat and drink a little on her own or what, but she has been throwing up.  It seems better this afternoon though.  Hopefully she's done with that.  I can't imagine throwing up with that huge incision-that's got to hurt.
One good thing that happened in the night was when she needed me she called out "MOM!" Wow!  Who ever thought one word could make a person so happy?  She is really trying to form words-pretty basic stuff but it's good to know the mechanics of the whole speaking process are in working order.  I think it's just going to be a ton of practice.  She's been in a lot better mood today too-probably because Taylor is here.  It's really sweet to watch him with her.  He is catering to her every whim.  She even laughed and stuck her foot out for him to massage and let tell you, that is something I never thought I'd see him do for anyone! (Our family has a thing about feet-ha ha)  But yes-he's been sitting her massaging her foot with Sweet Pea lotion (although he is complaining loudly that he smells like a girl)-which she is delighting in.
Taylor and I went to church at the hospital again today.  it was fast meeting here because next week is their stake conference.  When I first when in I was thinking how we were here last Fast Sunday and thinking that this had sure been a long month.  And ok, I was feeling kind of sorry for all of us.  Then some woman gets up to talk and her story was so sad (most of them are here).  Anyway, her and her husband had been here with their son for the last 16 months.  Oh my heck!  You would think by now I would know never to complain. Every time I do, I am humbled by someone else's situation and end up feeling grateful for my own.  It seemed though that every person who got up to speak had something so profound to say.  One guy talked about how all of us in that room had been blessed with some very special privileges to be raising these choice, exceptional kids.  And it's so true.  So many people (who are just trying to be nice I'm sure) have said how lucky Hannah is to have come to our family.  But the truth is that we are so blessed and privileged to be HER family.  She has taught us our most important life lessons-not only through her trials but just because of the person she is.  I don't know how we got so lucky, but I sure am grateful.  Happy Sunday!

Saturday night

As far as progress, today was a great day.  She has really been working hard  to say a few words, and she's getting close.  The speech therapist brought in a slush, and would only give her some if she said "more."  Oh my heck!  That seemed so mean to do to a girl who has had a sum total of 5 bites of pudding in the last 20 days.  But guess what?  By the end of speech, Hannah was saying "more."  It's a good thing that lady is the therapist and not me. This is going to be painful to watch and to keep my mouth shut.
She was also able to get up in the wheelchair for a longer period of time.  The physical therapists want her to be able to do that so they can take her to the gym for therapy.  In the gym she'll be able to do a lot more than what she's done in her room.  So it's all good stuff and we are so happy about the progress.  By night though, she is so exhausted and frustrated.  We haven't been very successful at understanding what she's trying to tell us so we've been playing these long guessing games that usually end with her being really upset. And I don't blame her.  Such a hard thing to watch.  I love her so much-wish I could do more to take her pain and frustration away.  Anyway, I'm sure that when she is well rested life will look better.  Everything is overwhelming when you're tired.  For parents too! So we are all going to bed.  Good night!

Saturday morning

Ohhh this therapy is going to be grueling business.  I trust these therapists know what they are doing but it's sure hard to watch them push her when she's exhausted and trying so hard.  She's a trooper though-she just keeps going.  Today after physical therapy she was so sad and frustrated.  Everyone who helps with therapy is great to celebrate her accomplishments but I can tell she is pretty discouraged with how hard it is to do the smallest of things, and she is probably disgusted that we are cheering for such seemingly small things.  She gave us a look today like REALLY, you are cheering for THAT? PLEEEEASSSE.  Sometimes I wish I wasn't able to read her mind so well.
Jordan wasn't able to come today because the brakes on his car were having issues and then both of his kids got sick.  Everyone was disappointed but he needs to be home helping his little family.  I feel bad that my kids feel so torn all the time.  I know it seems wrong in their minds to try and get back to a semi-normal existence when their lives feel anything but normal, but this is going to be going on for awhile and their lives just can't be put on hold indefinitely.  I know we will always be there for each other, even if physically it's not always possible.  So everyone quit feeling guilty!
Bob just said to Hannah, "I keep seeing these shirts that say, 'I survived cancer!' I think I'm going to have a shirt made for you that says, 'I survived a stroke!'  ha ha That got her to laugh and to give me the look, "Is he for real?!" Yeah,  somehow I can't picture her wearing such a shirt-she's got way too much fashion sense AND she's too humble. ha ha
We are having people sign her new high tops.  Sierra was up here one night and we decided Hannah's new shoes were going to be the shoes she learns to walk in again, and so it seemed right to have her fan club sign them.  Her Victory Shoes!!! They will be a cool keep sake.
Bob ran into a former nurse of Hannah's.  She was telling him that when she was 17 she was in a horrible car accident and had severe brain damage.  She said she can't really remember one year of her life, but she made a full recovery.  She said it took her 6 months to talk, and another 6 months for everything else to fall into place-But she did it!  She went on to be the top graduate of her nursing class. We have heard so many stories like this and I can't even tell you how much hope they give us.  The brain is a pretty amazing organ, and hopefully Hannah's will someday (in the very near future) restore itself.  We will just keep thinking positively and praying with faith.  We also have had a few doctors who came in and dropped these bombs on us about what her possible limitations could be.  This was right after we found out about her stroke.  The worst things they said have already proven to be untrue.  But it just boggles my mind how they can casually say such things.  I know they are trying to give you the worse case scenario just to prepare you,  but really. . . It feels like they have slammed you over the head with a 2x4 and they continue on-like no big deal.  Unbelievable.  They must have missed the memo on tact and compassion.  They are the exception though-the great majority of medical people here have been 100% kind, understanding, and compassionate. But what I was going to say before I got off on that tangent was that I have come to see we have a limited amount of emotional energy.  And we only have the strength to focus on the positive right now.  I don't have the time or energy to hear all the negative stuff.  I don't think we are being unrealistic. We are not blind to the situation, but I think we just have to focus on Hannah's possibilities right now, and nothing more.  I told Meg to hang a sign on our door stating that if you don't have anything positive to say, stay out.  Of course, that was not my actual wording.  It was a tad bit stronger but you all get the idea.  Ha ha Thank you all for being so positive, for praying, for sending your good thoughts and kind words our way.  You' re the best-I mean that.  We are so blessed to have you all in our lives.  Thank you.  Much love, Lisa

Friday night

Hannah had a good day today.  She was awake a lot more and wanted to be up.  It still takes a lot out of her to be up for even a short time, but her stamina's getting better, little by little.  And her therapy goes better every day.  They increased therapy to six days a week so she'll have it tomorrow as well.
Tonight especially she was really alert.  I showed her a funny video her friend made for her and she loved it.  She looks most like our old Hannah when she smiles and laughs so I love to see her happy.  She kept trying to get her dad to understand something tonight and his guesses were all very bad.  She looked exasperated with him and I could tell she was really close to rolling her eyes-ha ha Finally though, she started laughing.  We are all going to have to keep our sense of humor if we are going to survive this thing.
Happy it's the weekend.  Jord and Taylor will be coming.  She needs some new faces to look at.  Have a good weekend everyone.  Thanks so much for your good thoughts and all the prayers you send our way.  We love you!

Friday morning

Big morning!  Hannah got to eat!!! And everything worked as it should.  I realize every day here how many things we take for granted about our bodies. We never even think about things such as swallowing but it is such a beautiful thing to be able to do!
She will still be on the feeding tube for awhile and supplement her diet with a few things that are easy to eat.  But it's a great first step.
We have all had a few weeks to try and process all that has happened, but I realize for Hannah that process is just starting.  Her range of emotions is wild.  I was helping her do leg exercises this morning and all of the sudden she just started kicking-she was really mad.   She settled down and we had some visitors who made her smile (do you guys know how grateful I feel when you make her smile)?! Anyway, later after much tossing and turning she got sad.  We talked (ok I talked and she blinked), but it was a pretty profound conversation about some of the things she has experienced the last few weeks.  I have no doubt Heavenly Father has been with her.  It has been impressed on me time and time again what a special girl she is and I'm grateful there are so many watching over her who love her. During those two weeks, when her body was here with us but her mind and spirit were so far away,  I had hoped she was in a good place-and now I know she was. That makes me happy.

Thursday evening

Good day for Hannah Rigby.  Every day, actually every hour, is full of ups and downs but if there are more ups than down we call it good!
The speech therapists have been waiting for her to wake up enough so that they could do a swallow study, which is basically just some observations to see if she has the capacity to swallow correctly.  From what they could tell today, everything looked pretty good.  She still has a NG tube in for her nutrition but I hoping in the next few days they will let her eat!
The rest of her therapies went better than usual.  She seems to be more awake now which is nice.  She's also figuring out little ways to communicate.  I'm hoping her speech will come with time but in the meantime it's big for her to be able to let us know what she needs.
Hannah's seminary class was having a lesson on trials today and her teacher was kind enough to send us some of the talks and songs he used for his lesson.  Some of the student's also wrote some comments for us about their thoughts on the matter.  Anyway, it came at the perfect time.  I read everything this afternoon and felt like I had been given a treasure.  It gave me a fresh perspective on a lot of things I have been thinking about-and gave me a lot of good things to contemplate. At the time I was reading, Hannah was tossing and turning and letting me know she was miserable.  They totally weaned her off pain meds today and she was having a hard time.  I played the songs he sent and she was immediately calm.  Music has power.  I need to use it more with her.  Anyway, I am including the link to one of the songs he sent.  It's beautiful.  Hope you will all listen to it.
It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc

Thursday morning

Hannah's doing ok today.  Letting her rest right now because they have quite a bit of therapy planned for this afternoon.  She is really hating being in bed but she's so tired.  She keeps throwing her legs over the side railings like she's making an escape attempt.  She's making me nervous.
Because I have been getting kind of discouraged with Hannah's situation, I decided to keep a weekly log of her progress.  I went back and wrote things down for weeks 1, 2 and 3.  It was a really good thing for me to see.  Week one had 1 improvement, week 2 had 5, and she already has 6 for week 3 -and the week is young.  That is a good trend.
Another really good thing is that Hannah seems to have the same sweet disposition.  Many people who have strokes often have a change in personality.  I have been worried about that but as far as we can tell we have our same sweet girl.
Well, speech therapy just came so I better go cheer her on.  Hopefully, I'll have good things to report tonight.

Wednesday night

Today was a good day for Hannah.  She was most alert this afternoon and seemed to love spending time with Luke and Taylor.  She also got to go out to the lobby in her wheelchair for physical therapy and hold Henry.  It was so sweet.  They were both so happy to see each other.  As happy as she was to be able to see Henry,  it totally wiped her out and she came back and slept the rest of the afternoon.  Her poor little body is still so worn out.  This healing process is going to take some time.
We had some more friends from home come and visit today.  It was great to see them! We are sure blessed with a lot of great people in our lives and we sure appreciate all you do to make us feel loved and remembered.
Luke's visit was wonderful but short.  He left a while ago to fly back home. It was hard to see him go  for all of us.  Hannah did her best to give him hug as he was leaving.  I bawled my eyes out.  But I'm so  happy for the love these kids have for each other.  Sure love them.
Meg and Robbie also went home for a few days.  Henry needed a break from here and so did Meg and Robbie.  We will miss them!
We are all so tired tonight so we are going to sleep. Thanks for all you do for our family.  Good-night:)

Wednesday morning

Hannah Rigby had a pretty good night.  It's definitely going to be more peaceful on this unit.  This morning she has been frustrated trying to communicate with us-I think she is just trying to say she is miserable laying in bed.  Therapy talked about increasing her sessions soon to build up her stamina.  That will be a good thing.  Luke has also been a bright spot.  He's been appeasing her every want-at least the ones we can figure out-this morning.  She sure has been blessed with loving siblings.
Well, hoping for a good day. I'll update you all tonight. :)

Tuesday evening

Best surprise ever!  Guess who walked through the doors of Primary children''s tonight? LUKE!!!!  Awww really made me so happy!! And I know when Hannah wakes up tomorrow she will be so happy too.  My kids are the best medicine-for Hannah and for me.
It has been good day for Hannah Rigby.  We are actually out of the PICU.  YAY!!!!! In so many ways it is a monumental step.  It has only been two weeks since her emergency surgery and I know during this short period of time she has literally been brought back to us.  It's actually kind of hard to leave the PICU just because we have come to depend on all these people so much.  In the process of saving Hannah, they have become very important and dear to us.  I will always feel indescribable gratitude for their diligence,  their compassion and their medical expertise.  They help work miracles every day.
For physical therapy today Hannah was able to get into a wheelchair and go for a ride.  It was short and totally wore her out, but it 's a start.  She has such a long ways to go, but as long as we are progressing every day I feel pretty happy.  She is frustrated about not being able to talk, and I can tell she has really been thinking about her situation today.  It's heart breaking to watch  the reality sink in, but we just tell her it's going to get better but that it 's going to take time and a lot of hard work.  And it is!  I really think this is going to be the hardest thing she will ever do, and it's not going to get better overnight.  It's so not the time table I would choose, but I'm trying to accept that things don't always go according to my time table.  Such a hard lesson for all of us though.  Lately my prayers have changed a little.  I am still fervently praying that she will get better, but I have also been praying for peace so that we can all deal with this.  And I can tell you that we all have all been blessed with a reassuring peace and strength from above.  That is the only way we are getting through this.  Just trying to trust in His plan and His timing.
Please continue to pray for Hannah.  Sometimes that may sound like a pat answer or a hollow request that we ask for, but it's not.  It's something real and tangible that helps our girl through her hard things.  Thank you.

Tuesday morning

Hannah is down to one arterial line and two I.V's!  I feel like we should be having a party.  I was able to crawl in bed with her this morning and give her a hug. I needed that!
The plan for today is to get her up a little more and maybe even get her into a wheelchair.  It'd be so nice if she could get out of her room.  This has got to be depressing!
She slept pretty good last night which is always nice.  She tries to sleep in the day but her room is a constant coming and going of medical people so it makes it kind of difficult.  We have had a very diverse group of people taking care of Hannah, and I love them all.  Interesting to see so many people from so many parts of the world come together to do what they love and to bless others.  Today our tech is from Africa-a beautiful lady with some interesting stories. They certainly help us pass the time for which I'm grateful.
Baby Henry has been here this whole time and hasn't got to see his aunt Hannah even once!  I'm hoping when she goes to the rehab part they will let him in, and also Boston and Hallie when they visit.  Hannah loves her nieces and nephews so much. Every time I take a break and go downstairs to see Henry he is so happy and smiley.  I keep thinking, "Henry, why are you so happy?  Your life kind of sucks right now"-ha ha. But he seems oblivious to it all and it is impossible not to smile when you see that cute face.  I read a quote earlier today that said, "Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds called, 'All the things that could go wrong.' "  ha ha Very Very True!  I wish I could be a kid again.
Hopefully it will be a good day and I'll have lots of good things to report tonight.

Monday night

Wow!  What a difference a day can make.  Last night at this time Hannah was so sad, discouraged, and in terrible pain.  Tonight's been altogether different.  She has been smiling and even laughed a few times at one of our friends who came to visit.  She apparently thought he was a comedian.  So  good to see her smile. Sierra, her sweet friend, came and spent the afternoon with her and she really seemed to enjoy her company.  She has such awesome friends.
Another great thing that happened today was that they let her get out of bed!  They haven't wanted her to do much because they have been nervous about her bleeding again, but they decided to let her try it and she did great.  I think a big part of her restlessness is just being uncomfortable from laying in bed so long.  So anyway, she seemed pretty dang happy for herself.  We are going to do it again tomorrow.  I found out today that one requirement for her to begin rehab is for her to be able to do 2 sessions that are at least an hour and a half long (each day).  I was kind of discouraged about that but I think once she starts getting out of bed her stamina will improve and hopefully she'll progress quickly.
Just grateful for the progress we've seen today.    Love this beautiful girl so much!
Thank you so much to everyone who came and visited today.  We love you.

Monday Morning

Kind of a wild night.  I think her stomach was really bugging her.  Not an easy thing to get your body back to work after it has pretty much been shut down for a couple of weeks.  It all just takes time.  We sure take a lot of things about our bodies for granted-until they don't work.
She is so restless. She keeps throwing her legs over the bed rail like she'd like to escape.  I don't blame her.  I want to escape right along with her.  We were hopeful she could get up and start some serious physical therapy today but the surgeons want her to lay low for a couple more days until they feel confident she's not going to start bleeding again.  Aughhh so frustrating.  So I guess Meg and I will have to get creative in keeping her entertained today.  Meg, Robby and Henry are still here with me and I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for them.  It hasn't been an easy thing being here with a baby, but Henry has definitely been a bright spot for us.  He even learned to crawl in the hospital waiting room.  This was the semester Robbie was supposed to be getting shadowing hours so he can apply to the pharmacy program,  but since he and Meg are here, that hasn't happened.  But he never complains, never acts like this situation is a burden.  He just patiently watches Henry hour after hour in the waiting room.   We definitely struck gold when we got him for a son-in-law, as we did with our daughter-in-laws, Jessi and Hannah.  I couldn't have hand picked better people to join our family and I hope they all know how grateful I am for them.
Well, I better quit writing and start entertaining my girl.  Thanks again for the  uplifting and encouraging comments you send.  They give us a much needed boost.  And thanks for your continued prayers.  Lisa

Sunday night

Today was good in a lot of ways.  Hannah and the rest of the family got to see and visit with a lot of wonderful friends and relatives.  It was so good for us.  I think we are all getting a little homesick and so it was great to spend time with everyone who came to visit.  Tonight though, Hannah has been really agitated and sad.  I'm not sure if part of it was everyone leaving, or if she just feels miserable.  It is probably a combination of both.  Bob had to leave tonight to go back to Idaho Falls tonight and get caught up at work.  That will be hard for us.  He is our calming influence.  I sure love that man and appreciate him more everyday.  Hannah couldn't have been blessed with a better dad.
We also went to church today.  Bob is always saying he wants to get his records transferred to this ward because you can wear whatever you want-including hospital gowns-ha ha AND it's only half an hour long.  It is pretty great.  Not only for those reasons but also because there is always a really strong spirit there.  It's always a strong reminder to me of how much Jesus loves His children.  I think He goes to church here. :)
Tomorrow they are planning on starting some therapy.  I think she's ready.  She's really getting tired of laying in bed.  And they are weaning her down pretty quickly off her pain medications so I'm hoping she'll be more alert and ready to get busy.  We have a long road ahead but I think the sooner she can start working, the better.
We are all super tired tonight.  Hoping we can all get some sleep. Thanks so much for everyone who traveled this weekend to visit us.  We know we are loved and we sure feel blessed to have such incredible people in our lives.  We love you all so much!

Sunday afternoon

Sorry I am late posting.  Hannah's having a pretty good day.  They removed all those staples from her incision-I think Meg said there were 36!  It's a pretty long incision.  Anyway, I thought it would be painful so we asked them to give her something for pain, but then it ended up not being a big deal.  Anyway, now she is sleeping the day away.  She's had some visitors this weekend, and seems to be happy that they're here although she's not very alert.  She really has the best support team.  She's a lucky girl!
I'll write more this evening.  Just wanted you all to know she's ok.

Saturday evening

Today was a good day.  She seemed to understand more what was going on.  She was sad that she couldn't talk to us, but it is so hopeful that everyday we see her doing little things that she didn't do the day before.  To me, it seems like many pieces of a big puzzle that are slowly coming together.   I was talking to one of her cardiologists that other day, and she was saying how she loves her field of study because it mostly deals with absolutes.  You can look at the structure and function of the heart and understand what is or isn't working.  With the brain, it's really a guessing game. The neurologist told us that we should see progress as the swelling of her brain goes down.  Then things will seem to plateau for awhile, and then we should see more improvement as the neurons find new pathways to talk to each other.  So it is the ultimate waiting game.
Today we got to spend some time with our cute grandkids; Hallie, Boston, and Henry.  They are definitely a bright spot.  No matter how bad things are, they are always happy and loving -oblivious to the sad things.  And that's so good, because they are our constant reminders that there are still so many good and happy things.
 Please keep praying for our sweet Hannah.

Saturday morning

Hannah had a good night.  She was worn out from all the stuff they'd been doing to her all day and so I was grateful she was able to get some uninterupted sleep (as uninterrupted as you can get in a hospital). She doesn't seem to be in too much pain today and so that's a nice reprieve too.  She does seem a little more aware of what's going around her, which is a good thing- but with that also comes more awareness of her situation and as that kind of sinks in I see her getting more worried and sad. So we have spent the morning being cheerleaders-telling her about how much progress she's made and giving her encouragement.  It's seemed to help some.  She responds pretty well to her brothers and sister and friends.  I think maybe she is getting a little sick of me and Bob.  I can't blame her-ha ha But I told her today she is stuck with us so she better learn to like it.   Bob is so great with her.  He's always calm and reassuring and funny.  He has even been showing off his mad dance skills.  So far she has not shown any sign of appreciating them-but that could be a typical teenage thing. We are never cool!
I told the other kids I am so grateful that they are here, because without them I am just a bawling ball of snot-ha ha (ok that was a gross image-sorry).  Anyway, I saw Tay and Meg exchange looks and Tay muttered something-Probably saying"You mean you think you're NOT that now?" So maybe I am, but I guarantee without them it would be worse.  It's been interesting to see how everyone kind of grieves differently.  But I know that even though we all do it differently, we gain strength by going through this process together.  So grateful for Luke and Jessi and Skype.  Their hearts are here with us and their faces too, thanks to modern technology.  They always seem to give us strength and fresh insight at just the right time, and their new little one who is coming to the world shortly is giving us all something to look forward to. The world keeps turning, and that's a good thing.

Friday Evening

Pretty good day today.  Best thing about today was that Hannah finally got her dialysis line out of her neck.  Her kidney function numbers weren't super great, but they feel pretty confident they will start to improve.  Not having the line in makes it a lot easier for her to move around.  And hopefully they won't need to give her so many pain meds.  We want her to wake up a little bit!  She still seems like she is in a drug haze-not really too sure what's going on.  Maybe with a few less drugs that will change.  I hope so.  Our goal of the day tomorrow is to wash her hair.  She still has all this glue stuff in her hair from the electrodes of the EEG. They haven't wanted us to really move her head much with that line in her neck, so we have had to wait to wash her hair.  Hopefully that will help her feel better.  I know it will help me feel better.
Next week physical therapy starts daily.  Tonight the nurses were doing a procedure that was upsetting her and so they asked me to hold her arms.  She got really mad and started to fight. I couldn't believe how strong she was.  I had to get Bob over to help me because she she was pretty much winning the fight.  She definitely was stronger than me.  Ok ok maybe that's not saying much, but I was pretty impressed.  This girl is a fighter.  I sure love her.  It seems our lives have been turned upside day the last 10 days, but as I sit here and look at her I just feel an abundance of gratitude that she is still here with us.  My precious girl.


cousin Seth :)

Friday morning

So about 10:00 last night her line in her neck, the one for dialysis, started bleeding again. Hannah's poor nurse basically put pressure on it until 4 this morning. She's my hero. Nurses are a special breed of people! This morning her blood work showed that maybe her kidneys are starting to kick in a little better so if her noon blood work shows a progressive trend they will take out the line. So keep your fingers crossed. It has been such a pain!  She'll soon be getting another unit of blood-hopefully that'll be the last. She still has a fever from the infection and is acting like she feels pretty miserable, but it's. hard to know which issue is distressing her the most.
A friend sent me a great quote this morning. It said:
Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.
Very true-I love that!

Thursday night

Precious girl slept almost the whole day.  They are trying to get her off the narcotics she has been on and onto something that's not so strong.  The new medicine seemed to do a good job for her pain, but just kept her asleep. Oh well, it's probably good for her body to have some uninterupted rest.
It's been so good to have the kids here.  We all feel like we're not doing much besides just beong here, but hopefully she is feeling comfort from everyone's presence.  A lot of the time we will just stand or sit around her bed admiring her.  Once in awhile she will open her eyes and give us an exasperated look like, "Don't you guys have anything better to do?"  The truth is we don't.
All day we go through a lots of ups and downs, but it always seems like when I am at my low point, something will happen that will remind me to take courage with our situation.  Tonight I was pretty discouraged.  I went upstairs to have dinner at the Ronald McDonald area.  On the far wall is a huge picture window that runs the whole length of the room and looks out over the Salt Lake Valley.  It's always a pretty view, but tonight it was truly one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.  It stopped me in my tracks and I thought, "Wow, if God has created something so magnificent, there is really nothing He isn't capable of."  Sometimes it just takes a sunset to remind us.
I know I say it almost every day, but I really mean it when I say how much we appreciate all the kind things you are continually doing for our family.  We have been the recipient of so many acts of kindness I couldn't begin to name them.  Please know how meaningful your kind words and actions have been.  We know Hannah is a loved girl, and it helps us to know how many of you are cheering her on.  Thank you!

Thursday morning

Hannah had a pretty restless night. I think the infection is making her feel pretty sick. She also had to get more blood. She's not actively bleeding now but lost enough from that line in her neck that they felt she needed it. I think she's had enough blood transfusions to replace all her blood three times over.  So a few setbacks to deal with but hoping the rest of the day brings better things. I decided we need to quit freaking out over every bump in the road because I know there are going to be many more bumps. And freaking out, I have discovered, doesn't really help things. ha ha
 So last night the PICU people were shuffling patients around frantically because there were way more patients than available beds. Lots of traumas and lots of really sick kids. I heard the Drs. talking about who they could move down the hall and one of them said, "I think Hannah Hale is one of our most stable patients-lets move her." I can't even tell you what joy that brought  me. Not that I'm happy there are 50 kids sicker than her, but it did remind me how far she has come the last 8 days. 8 days ago she was probably the least stable patient, so she is moving onward and upward, even if the progress feels so slow sometimes.  Truthfully, it is hard to feel sorry for yourself in this place. As bad as you think you have it, GUARANTEED,  there are situations that are worse. So many sad stories. But also a lot of  inspiring affirmations of the human spirit.  You see unbelievable resilience, compassion,  faith, and love.  All in their rawest forms. Really kind of beautiful.

Wednesday night

As of half hour ago, we are officially residents of the PICU Nuero Trauma Unit. I have spent so much time in this hospital and actually didn't even know this unit existed. But it does, and here we are.
I think this is our 7th or 8th move since we arrived. We should get frequent flier miles or something.
Today was Hannah's best day as far as being awake. Part of the day though I think she was hallucinating-but at least they must have been happy hallucinations because she was finding most everything hilarious. Wish I could have some of that-ha ha Anyway she's had these before, and some were really scary so I'm glad she was enjoying herself today. She made a couple small improvements in therapy and in a more lucid moment smiled big at her favorite Dr.-Dr. Williams. He's been her cardiologist since she was born and he is Awesome. I'm happy she honored him with a smile.
Since we've known about her brain injury, we have heard a lot of hopeful stories. I'm clinging to those at the moment. So hard to watch her in therapy struggle to do really basic things. I need to realize all her baby steps will someday add up to something big.
Tonight she started with a fever and they realized she has an infection. Hopefully some antibiotics will help that issue resolve quickly. Thanks again for all your uplifting support. You keep us going!!

Wednesday morning

We gave up weaning her off pain killers because she's been so agitated. So last night she finally slept and I think she seems more rested and maybe a little more aware. The therapists wanted her to have high tops for therapy so Meg just got her some cute Converse high tops. She's been so sensitive to people bugging her that I thought she'd never let us put them on her, but she did! Lookin pretty stylish  laying here in her hospital gown and high tops. Therapists have started streaming in. I think a lot is going to have to wait until her incision heals a little better because it hurts so bad to move very much, but other therapies she tolerates ok. We are still trying to stimulate her a little bit with familiar things like music, pictures, and videos of her nieces and nephews. We just put her all-time favorite show "Psych" on and she seems mildly interested. Most of the time she has this look on her face like what the heck has happened?!!! We're trying to let her process things on her own while  reassuring her she's safe, that we are here with her, and that everyday is getting better. I hope she doesn't feel scared. I've really felt that she has a lot of guardian angels who are helping her. When she was four and had a heart surgery that went bad for awhile, she woke up and told me about three beautiful angels who were with her in the operating room. She told me in such a matter of fact way-like it was nothing that should be surprising.  if we could all be a little more child like in our faith, we'd probably all experience some pretty miraculous things!

Tuesday night

Today was kind of wild. She's really doing pretty well physically although there's a chance they might be putting her back on dialysis tomorrow. She's had to go through about 5 or 6 pressure bandage changes because the line in her neck that they use for dialysis has been bleeding a lot. It ll be nice when she can get that out. Hopefully in a couple of days. She also is still struggling to rest peacefully. Everything seems to agitate her-but that's pretty normal I guess, considering all that's going on.
We are all tired and going to try to get some sleep . Thanks so much for all the kind things you have been doing for us, the kind words, and all the love you've shown to us. Hope you are all out celebrating a wonderful Valentine's Day. Love should be celebrated!!!💕

Sarah's Valentine blog post💕💕

Valentines day, 2017, I’m submerged in bed with a different mug, brimming with earl grey and milk. When I think about this month, and this day, and this lifetime, I feel so willing to give up everything that I’ve ever wanted for one very large favor from the universe. I don’t know how this works. I don’t think I have a relationship of reciprocity with any higher power. I’ve learned that no one ever owes you anything—let alone the place that you live. All this being said, I’m asking that we forget it all and find away to make Miss Hannah Hale smile and stand up and speak again,

If we could help her up as she held her arms open,

If we could send our heartful’s of hopefulness,

All our lovingness and loveability,

Our sweetest serendipity.

If we could take the goodness she has given to us and make it into medicine,

If we could turn kindness into healing,

And kisses into kingdoms.

If we could just make her better this Valentines day.

In times of unbelievable sadness, I am still, somehow, blown off my feet and backwards by the prevailing pull of love. This Valentine’s day I’m unsure of who picked out Hannah’s heart, who put it between her ribcage, and made it work the way it does. I’m unsure how she smiles while sliding into surgery. I don’t see how things like this can unfold. But this love—this family—this community of people gathered around her bedside, watching with bated breath and silent sobs and pleading prayers—these people are heavy enough to crash through the Earth’s mantel, but this sweet pull from the love of a heart with a hole in it keeps them aloft, floating so their feet don’t even touch the ground. There is a lightness we get from being in love. To feel something so wholly good and unabashed helps us be brave when the very world that gave us this love threatens to take it away. This love makes me disbelieve my own despair, gives me an inkling of unfounded hope in even the darkest of circumstances that things won’t be as bad as I believe.

Sweet Hannah, I don’t know what to say. You are full of lessons and of love and you have filled our lives with light. You pull us up when our hearts feel heavy enough to hold us down. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet girl.

Tuesday morning

So today is going to be a better day. For a week Hannah was in a PICU room that we now know they call the Alcaida cave. Yep that pretty much describes it. It would be really easy to go nuts in there. So anyway-she has been upgraded to a room with a ton of Windows!! And the sun is even shining so things are looking up. The dr. was telling us that even if you put a healthy person in a small windowless room for a week, it's easy to lose your bearings and go crazy. So I'm happy they took pity on us and moved us. 

Hannah had kind of a rough night. Her blood was too thin and so that big line in her neck kept bleeding a ton. They just repacked it for the third time and she is not liking them messing with it

. I can't even imagine what she's thinking. I'm sure very confused and still in a lot of pain. I just keep telling her that's she's in the hospital and that she's getting better every day. 

My niece just wrote the sweetest blog about Valentines Day and Hannah. She said I could share part of it on the blog-which I will do once one of my more technically inclined children show me how to do it.  She's a beautiful writer and expressed things so perfectly. You truly have a gift Sarah-thank you.  Although I must warn everyone who wants to read it that you will probably need a box of Kleenex close by. I did.

Hope you all enjoy Your Valentines Day.💕

Monday evening

So sorry I haven't posted anything today. It's been long and hard. This morning we had our consult with neurology. Hannah has had a stroke-not from a bleed or a clot but from the oxygen deprivation she experienced while in emergency surgery Tuesday night. Both sides of her brain were affected. The areas that were affected were the ones dealing with language ( speaking) and large motor capabilities. They think she can understand us pretty well which is good. As we talked to people today it became clear that the knowledge we have of the brain is still very limited. Because every brain is somewhat different, it's hard to predict what she will recover once the swelling goes down. They have already been here talking to us about their rehab program which sounds very intense. To be truthful it's all a bit much for us to take in today. We re trying to deal with this emotionally while listening to all the information that's being given to us. My brain is tired and feels like it could explode.

     We are sad beyond words about all this, but I still keep feeling like everything is going to be ok. I know it's going to take everything we have to power through this, but I believe God has given us what we need to do this. We have the greatest doctors, the best support system in the world, faith in a loving God who also wants good things for Hannah and the unconquerable spirit of one amazing girl. I believe she will continue to amaze us. Thanks for your love-we have felt so blessed to have all of you sharing in our difficult journey. We love you all.❤️

Sunday night

All's I can say is the dr. who told us this was going to be a roller coaster  ride knew what he was talking about. I knew some days would be good and some not so good, but I didn't realize the ups and downs would be happening so many times every day. Right after Hannah woke up this morning I thought she seemed a little more in tune. She was trying to focus on my face and seemed to have more of an awareness of what was going on around her. As Meg said earlier, the dr. told us to try and surround her with things that were familiar. Fortunately she had some familiar faces with friends and family  who visited today, which was so good for her. We tried to just have one or two people at her bed at a time so it wasn't chaotic and she seemed pretty calm and somewhat interested in everyone. Her friend Zoe was playing music and singing to her-apparently she was singing the wrong words and Hannah laughed. Then later her cousin Neil came in to see her and said, "Hannah, your favorite cousin is here!" And she laughed again. Those were two wonderful moments!!!! She also had two very sweet friends who sat at her bedside and held her hands while they talked to her. I think that made her very happy.
The nurse noticed early on in the day that her pupils were different sizes. As the day wore on they became more and more worried about that and her tendency to favor her left side. So in the end they unhooked her from dialysis and everything else and took her for an MRI. The results were similar to those of the CAT scan. Both showed no signs of stroke but they did show swelling in her brain. Tomorrow we will meet with neurology and see if they can be more specific about their concerns. Because they had to move her around so much this afternoon they ended up giving her more Meds so tonight she looks like a drugged out zombie again. It makes me so sad. It's going to be a battle to get these drugs out of her system when she really needs them for her pain. Another balancing act.
Tonight we talked to a nurse that we've known for years. I guess he was in the operating room with Hannah the night she had the emergency surgery. That was definitely a discussion I would have been better off not having. We knew that she coded twice and that things were definitely life threatening at that moment, but we didn't realize everything that went into saving her. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
But it made me realize more than ever what a miracle it is that Hannah is still here with us. Really truly something happened that night that cannot be explained in any rationale or logical way. So I keep telling myself that if Hannah was really given a miracle, there must be a reason. I think God has some big plans for her.
Tonight I'm feeling so grateful for my beautiful family. This afternoon we gathered together with the family and friends that were here today and had a special prayer for Hannah. It sounds totally ludicrous that we could be feeling peace in our current situation, but that is exactly what I felt after our prayer.. So grateful for the faith of all those that were there and also for the faith of all of you. We have felt such an outpouring of love from so many. We feel very blessed to know and love so many incredible people!  Thank you for everything.  Please keep praying for our precious girl!

Sunday morning

Megan here- my mom asked me to update the blog because she hasn't had the chance today. She said she will this evening. Hannah Belle is about the same today. They are taking her to get an MRI right now because her pupils are different sizes and they are a little bit worried about that. She has, however, shown a tiny bit of improvement which is encouraging. She opens her eyes, but can't really move them yet. She can move her limbs and lets us know when she is uncomfortable. My dad said that one of the nurses mentioned that we should try and surround Hannah with familiar things. So we have been listening to Sounds of Sunday and Taylor Swift today haha. Zoe was sitting next to Hannah  talking to her and Hannah laughed at her. That is about the best thing that has happened to us all week! So we are grateful that Hannah knows she is surrounded by people that love her. Please continue to pray for our sweet sister! She needs all the help she can get. Thanks!

Saturday evening

Sorry I am posting so late. Just been getting Hannah situated for the night. So today we saw some improvements. She was moving her arms and legs and would even open her eyes sometimes, although she wasn't really focusing on anything or anyone. But it's definitely more than what we were getting yesterday and so we 're pretty happy. Several Drs. we're in discussing the situation and all of them think the odds are that it is all the narcotics she has been on this week. I'm sure the swelling on her brain is part of it, but I think part of it is the drugs. It's so hard to watch!
Everyone's day though was made better by the friends and family that have come to visit. I'm hoping Hannah hears all their voices and feels their love. I'm pretty sure she does. So blessed to have such good people in our lives!
I was also grateful for all those who volunteered themselves to be my punching bag whenever needed. That is true and unconditional love!! Makelle even volunteered her dad which was so generous. Ha ha Anyway, I'll let you know when I need to call upon you for that favor.
One of my friends tonight told me to be patient. I told her that wasn't my virtue and so she suggested I punch the guy who said, "patience is a virtue." Good idea!
Truthfully though, waiting for answers is so hard. But we are seeing progress every day and have faith that things will be okay. We are grateful for your prayers and ask that you continue to pray for sweet Hannah. Thank you!

Saturday morning

Her night was long. Even though she's not coherent she still gets really agitated about the ventilator. They act like its a good sign that she's showing such a strong reaction, which I'm glad about too, but watching her cough and struggle to breathe has been the worst. By morning Bob and I were ready to take it out ourselves. After her heart rate went crazy high they realized she wasn't going to settle down until it was out, so they finally removed it. Just watching her be able to breathe on her own is about the happiest thing I can think of. She's resting really peacefully now. I'm so glad that tube is gone, not only because it was the most miserable thing ever,  but I feel now we can really cut back on the sedatives and see if she ll come around today. I hope!
Bob and I take turns at night sleeping in a chair that's right next to her and then the other will go sleep in a little sleep room that's right outside of the unit. It's actually our sleep/cry room now but last night we actually both slept a little and I'm hoping we can be a little more calm and rational today. Some of the medical teams were beginning to look at us with fear in their eyes. Ha ha Actually that's true.  Last night I really wanted to punch someone, it didn't really matter who. Bob has been a lot more level headed and he's been so strong! I am grateful for him beyond words. I'm also so grateful to Heavenly Father for helping us. I really do know He is with us every step of the way.

Friday evening

So this post won't be too long. We are all so tired and emotionally spent tonight that we don't have energy to deal with much else.  Today was a really bad day. The plan this morning was to wean her off her sedatives and pain Meds so they could wake her up enough to take her off the ventilator. It was a hopeful plan that didn't happen. They did wean her off the meds, but she never woke up. She's been very unresponsive. They were concerned that she'd had a stroke so she has been having different kinds of brain scans to see what was the matter. The good news is that she has not had a stroke, but she does have edema (swelling) on her brain. It is most likely a result of all the trauma she has suffered this week. As I write this she is hooked up to an EGG. They are hoping to pinpoint the area of concern and get more answers. The trauma dr. said he was not surprised this happened after all she's been through. The only thing we can do now is wait and see when she decides to wake up. Although this is one of the scariest things we have ever been through, we are feeling more peaceful about things tonight. We are just praying and believing that our beautiful girl will suddenly open her big brown eyes and give us that smile we are all missing. Please pray for that too.

Friday morning

Hannah had a peaceful night. So grateful. Her body has been through so much trauma this week. I know that it just needs some peaceful stretches of time so it can begin to heal. I feel like her body has  been in a state of prolonged shock and if she could just get even a short reprieve maybe everything would begin to fall into place. They were super excited in the night about how much better her kidney function was after being on the dialysis just a short period of time. Thats huge!
Hopefully with everything settling down a bit, the rest of the family can all get our bearings and try to get some rest too. Yesterday during surgery I looked around at our family sprawled out in the  waiting room and thought "Wow! It hasn't taken our family long to lose all sense of dignity!" Meg was spread out on the floor sound asleep and the rest of us looked rather vagabondish. Except for Robbie. He's better at keeping some semblance of self respect. Ha ha Earlier in the day Bob had been getting me lunch downstairs. I was sitting at a table and watched him take a sandwich to some other lady ( twice!)Apparently we looked very similar?? Ha ha Got to laugh I guess, but sleep will definitely do us all some good I think.
So grateful for all the good things that have happened the last couple of days. Praying that she continues to go in the right direction. Thank you everyone for all you do to keep us going. We really have felt the strength of all your love and prayers.

Thursday evening

Hey everyone-good news to report tonight. Hannah had her surgery this afternoon and things went better than we expected. They had told us it wasn't very likely that they would close her incision but the bleeding had stopped and so they felt pretty confident in closing her. The liver,  which was the source of the bleed,  was looking good-like it was healing. Anyway it was such good news because we had been planning on her having to go back in again on Saturday but now she can just get on with the business of getting better!
Although we are so happy about the surgery there was a set back with her kidneys. The doctors decided they better get her on dialysis today. So while they had her in surgery they put a line in her neck for the dialysis. They are pretty confident that her kidneys will rebound but hopefully this will give them a break from having to do all the work that kidneys do. Whatever that is. I feel like we know quite a bit about her heart issues but the kidneys are still a mystery to us. We'll have to get busy bringing ourselves up to speed. The number of people taking care of her seems to grow every day. We already had a team of ICU people, her cardiac team, and the surgical team. Now we add Team Kidney! It really gets crazy because everyone is looking to do the best thing for their area of expertise and lots of times their best ideas conflict with another team's ideas. So there is a lot of hashing it out on a daily basis but so far things have remained pretty civil. We know they all just want to do what's best for her and I appreciate their passion and diligence more than I can say.
Hannah is still really sedated for which I'm grateful. I'm sure starting tomorrow they will want get to wake her up more so she can begin to breathe without so much assistance from the ventilator. That is always such a painful thing to watch. And she won't be happy about the huge line that is now in her neck. Today a Dr. Asked what he could do for us and I said, "fast forward our lives to two weeks from now." Oh how I wish he could because I know the coming weeks will be so hard for her ! But I also know that she is one if the toughest humans I know and if anyone can do this it's her!
We sure love getting your messages and although we can't respond to them all please know how much we appreciate your love and prayers and kind words. When she wakes up we will read them to her. She will love to hear from all the people she loves so much.
So thank you!!!

Thursday morning

Hannah had a pretty good night. They started the heparin at a really low dose and she didn't have any bleeding which was big. They will take her back to surgery this afternoon ( it's scheduled for 1:45) to repack all the dressings in her abdomen and to see if things are clotting as they should. If things look good and there's no more bleeding today and tonight they will talk about closing her up tomorrow. They also will probably put in a line in for dialysis. Her kidneys aren't working too well yet.

When they first brought her back from surgery I was expecting a 4-5 inch incision but it actually is huge! I wasn't prepared for that. As Hannah is usually quite proud of all her war wounds, she will probably think it's cool. Ha ha She has a big scar on her leg from a bypass a few years ago and whenever anyone asks how she got it she says, "shark attack." This scar will definitely add some credibility to her story.
So happy we are seeing progress and we are trying to be patient with the healing process but I am so anxious to have her open her eyes and show some recognition. I know she's in there, but I can't wait to have her back.

Wednesday evening

I just had to sit and ponder what day it was-all the days are running together. Today was full of setbacks but also small improvements.  At least they seemed small today but when I think back to where we were last night at this time I see we have really made some significant progress. Her vital signs are stabilizing and the bleeding seems to be slowing. They check her hematocrit every hour now and the last 4 have been about the same, meaning she's not losing a ton of blood.. There are also 2 drains in her stomach and although it would look like a lot of blood to most anyone, it is a lot less than what we saw earlier today.  The cardiologists have been pacing around tonight, very nervously waiting to start up the heparin again. They are so afraid that she could form a clot on that valve which could go to her brain. The teams just decided to restart the heparin in three hours. We are praying that it  is soon enough to head off the formation of a clot on her valve but also enough time to let her stomach form some clots to contain the bleeding there. This is all very tricky business. She has been sedated all day but woke up a few times to let us know she was miserable and hates the breathing tube. I don't blame her. They are hoping to repack her stomach tomorrow and then on Friday possibly close it up-if all goes well.
I've been so grateful that our kids have been with us-all except Luke,  who is home taking care of Jessi and their soon-to-be-born baby. The kids have been our rock. Today after my millionth "what if" scenario, Jordan KINDLY reminded me that fear and faith cannot co-exist and that I really should quit dwelling on all the what ifs and start focusing on my faith in the big picture. I know his words were wise ones. It's  easy for me to make myself absolutely hysterical when I forgot that the one who knows all and is capable of ANYTHING is in charge. That's my goal for tomorrow-to keep my faith in check. Oh yeah, and to take a shower. Megan KINDLY told me they were sick of seeing me in the exact same clothes I had been wearing for the last three days. Ha ha Only my kids can get away with saying these things to me  so nobody else should try it.
Also, please know how much your fast meant to us. I know it is through your faith and prayers that Hannah is able to endure and progress. I told her about it and even though she can't communicate yet, I know she heard me, and I know it mattered. Thank you.  Lisa

Hannah's battle

Hey friends and family,
Meg and I decided to start a blog to keep you all updated. We appreciate all your calls and texts so much and I'm sorry we haven't been able to respond to all your questions but things have been really crazy.  Hopefully the blog will help.
As most of you know Hannah was admitted to Primary Children's last Wednesday because she had been really sick to her stomach for a couple of months and they had just determined that she had a bunch of gall stones. We needed to come to Primary's because Hannah is on a lot of blood thinners and needed to be bridged to the IV heparin blood thinner for surgery. Surgery was on Sunday and everything seemed to go well. Monday she was up walking around and doing great but Monday night she started getting a lot of stomach pain. They discovered she was bleeding internally but didn't want to take her back to surgery because her blood was so thin. They spent all day Tuesday trying to stop the bleeding but nothing worked. About 9:30 she started failing quickly and so they rushed her into surgery. She had so much blood loss that they had to recessitate
her twice. It was a really long night with a lot of ups and downs but the bottom line is that she is still here with us. We feel so grateful for all the wonderful people who worked on her all night. It took a huge team of very dedicated and compassionate people who worked tirelessly throughout the night. I don't know how you ever adequately thank those who have saved your child's life.
Today she is on a ventilator with her stomach still open. They want to keep it open until they are sure the bleeding is under control. The main concerns today are heart and lung function and balancing her blood so that it will clot but not enough to form clots on her prosthetic heart valve. It's all a very delicate balancing act.
Today we are feeling more at peace with our situation. I know all your prayers and fasting are giving  us and Hannah the strength to fight this big battle. We are so grateful to our loving Heavenly Father whom we have felt with us so strongly the last few days. It's so comforting to know He is mindful of us and all we go through.
So thanks so much to all of you. Hannah has sure been blessed with the greatest friends and family. A girl could ever have.
We ll try to update this morning and evening.
Lisa