Wednesday evening

I just had to sit and ponder what day it was-all the days are running together. Today was full of setbacks but also small improvements.  At least they seemed small today but when I think back to where we were last night at this time I see we have really made some significant progress. Her vital signs are stabilizing and the bleeding seems to be slowing. They check her hematocrit every hour now and the last 4 have been about the same, meaning she's not losing a ton of blood.. There are also 2 drains in her stomach and although it would look like a lot of blood to most anyone, it is a lot less than what we saw earlier today.  The cardiologists have been pacing around tonight, very nervously waiting to start up the heparin again. They are so afraid that she could form a clot on that valve which could go to her brain. The teams just decided to restart the heparin in three hours. We are praying that it  is soon enough to head off the formation of a clot on her valve but also enough time to let her stomach form some clots to contain the bleeding there. This is all very tricky business. She has been sedated all day but woke up a few times to let us know she was miserable and hates the breathing tube. I don't blame her. They are hoping to repack her stomach tomorrow and then on Friday possibly close it up-if all goes well.
I've been so grateful that our kids have been with us-all except Luke,  who is home taking care of Jessi and their soon-to-be-born baby. The kids have been our rock. Today after my millionth "what if" scenario, Jordan KINDLY reminded me that fear and faith cannot co-exist and that I really should quit dwelling on all the what ifs and start focusing on my faith in the big picture. I know his words were wise ones. It's  easy for me to make myself absolutely hysterical when I forgot that the one who knows all and is capable of ANYTHING is in charge. That's my goal for tomorrow-to keep my faith in check. Oh yeah, and to take a shower. Megan KINDLY told me they were sick of seeing me in the exact same clothes I had been wearing for the last three days. Ha ha Only my kids can get away with saying these things to me  so nobody else should try it.
Also, please know how much your fast meant to us. I know it is through your faith and prayers that Hannah is able to endure and progress. I told her about it and even though she can't communicate yet, I know she heard me, and I know it mattered. Thank you.  Lisa