Pictures of Hannah

Saturday, April 1

We are officially free!  I can't even put into words how nice it is to be out.  That hospital is the best place to be when you need it, but the time had come to move on.  We will forever be indebted to all the wonderful people who gave so much of themselves to the cause of saving Hannah.  As our friend Alan Hollister wrote last week on the blog comments, "angels saving angels."  So true!
Hannah, true to form, had a hard time leaving so many people she had come to love.  There were lots of tears the last couple of days.  On Friday she had been to a couple of her therapies but then had a half hour break.  She knew it was someone's birthday (one of the patients), so she had gone off to see him and take him a present.  When her speech therapist came to get her she said, "She's gone again?  Have they made her the floor social worker or what?"  I told her no, but I thought she might the hospital's most dedicated visiting teacher.
When telling two of her favorite therapists good-bye, they started telling her funny stories about when they first started working with her.  I had totally forgotten about the things they were saying.  I realized that so much of the last two months is now a gigantic blur, and seem more like a dream.  This last week Hannah has started to ask about what really happened. She had been listening to voice mails from that first week and begun to read her emails and snap chats from friends.  It made her so sad to see how worried and sad everyone had been.  Now she keeps apologizing.  I told her apologizing was ridiculous, and that I was just sad for everything she had to go through.
We are spending the weekend in Salt Lake so our family can go to General Conference.  Hannah went today and loved it.  But tomorrow we will head for home and all those things we hold near and dear.  We all are going home changed people.   Hannah, of course, is going home with some limitations that she didn't have when we came.  But she's also going home with a renewed appreciation for life, an incredible inner strength that has been forged by the refiner's fire, and a stronger relationship with her Heavenly Father.  The spiritual experiences she had will forever define her.  She has talked with me about sharing some of her experiences, but in the end felt they were to personal and to sacred to share, at least for now.
As for the rest of the family, we too are changed.  As a family we have become closer than ever before.  I have been so touched to see how my children have rallied around Hannah and been there not only for her, but for me, for their dad, and for each other.  I do not have words to express how much I love them and their wonderful spouses and how grateful I am so see how they support and love one another.  As a mom, that is really the best gift I could ever ask for.
As for me,  I never thought I would survive something so hard.  I have never had to rely so heavily upon my Father-in-Heaven.  I have prayed and pleaded for faith as mine wavered over and over again.  I have felt like Peter, who tried walking on the water and showing his faith, only to begin sinking when the waves became rough and unsure.  It seems all the things I have always professed to believe were put to the test. But as I have prayed, I have felt God's love.  And I have seen his miracles.   A lot of people think that God gives us trials, like he is up there orchestrating a grand scheme to see if we will pass some kind of test.  I don't think it works that way.  I have thought about this a lot and I don't think He is giving them to us, but I think He helps us through them.  He, above all else, is simply a kind and loving Father.  I have felt His love for His children time and time again in that hospital.  I know He does not leave His suffering children alone.  And that for me is life-changing.
The other night Hannah and I talked about what she'd like to say on the blog.  I told her to summarize what she had learned.  She said three things.

1.  God loves us.
2.  Miracles still happen.
3.  Heaven is real.

As I end this blog, I want Hannah to know what an inspiration she is to me.  I want her to know she has been teaching me what's important all her life, and that I am so grateful Heavenly Father let me be her mom.  I also want you all to know how grateful our family is for your overwhelming love,  support, and most importantly your prayers.  I really believe our story might be altogether a different one if it wasn't for your prayers and the sustaining strength you have given us.  We are the most blessed people on the planet to have you in our lives.  Thank you.  We love you.

Friday night

Meg here- my mom doesn't have internet but they are out of the hospital and happy as clams! They will write tomorrow :)

Thursday, March 30

Hannah just said she wants to contribute to the last blog post, which seems right since this blog only came into being because of her journey.  But we are both so tired and so we decided to collaborate tomorrow night for the final post.
We are just about to go to sleep for the LAST night in Harry Potter's closet-such joy we never knew existed! ha ha  We have been laying here talking about all the things we are excited to get home for-at the top of our list is our own beds!  And hopefully uninterrupted sleep.  Although Bob is such a worrier he will probably be up taking vitals every three hours-ha ha. We really are so excited to be home with family, friends, and our beds-among many other things.  Hannah's also excited to get home to the dogs.  They apparently have become depressed so she has started face-timing them at night???  They are probably still depressed and now also confused.
We are getting released tomorrow and then staying the weekend in Salt Lake because we have conference tickets and Hannah really wants to go. Hopefully it'll be a restful weekend for her and a good transition to home.
We will finish up tomorrow.  Good-night.

Wednesday, March 29

Today was good.  We were busy the whole day-lots of things that need to be done before we leave.  Hannah had to say good-bye to two of her favorite therapists today because they are both off the rest of the week.  It was so sad. One of them started crying and then Hannah started crying and it was heart wrenching.  I get emotional too when I think of how much they have helped her,  and how much we have grown to love these people.  Her surgeon also came for his last check on her (the one who saved her life).  How do you adequately express your appreciation for saving your child's life?  A "thank-you" to all these people seems so inadequate.  I hope they understand how deeply grateful and indebted we are to them.
 I know Hannah is going to be missed around here too.  She has a way of worming her way into everyone's hearts.  She made cookies today and disappeared for awhile.  When I found her she was handing out cookies to everyone and talking with them as if they were her oldest and dearest friends. ha ha  I love how compassionate and good she is to everyone she meets, from the doctors to the patients to the cleaning ladies (they all adore her).  She really is a remarkable girl!

Tuesday, March 28

Today was the rehab team met to discuss Hannah and they decided she can leave a week early!!! We were both so excited-it's like being paroled and winning the lottery all rolled up into one.
There have been so many moments where we felt like this day would never come, but the end's officially in sight!  The last two months have seemed surreal in so many ways, so many days just blended together in sadness, but also joy. We have definitely experienced our lowest lows, but also our highest highs.  A true roller coaster ride.  And now we are looking at the next phase.  I can't even express in words how wonderful it will be to be at home, but we also feel some trepidation at leaving what has become our safe haven of sorts.  They gave me a book today about what to expect when going home, it said: "Expect the unexpected."  ha ha Not quite the reassuring words I was hoping for.  But I have been thinking a lot about when we brought her home as a baby.  She had her first heart surgery when she was five days old, and she was so fragile.  She was in the hospital for quite awhile, and then all of the sudden they said we could take her home?!!  I thought they were crazy to trust us and I remember just feeling terrified,  but we figured it out then and I know we will figure this out too.
Everything is so much better than we really dared even hope for.  When we first talked to the neurologists after they saw she'd had the stroke, they gave us a lot of worst case scenarios.  She could be blind, she may never walk, she may never talk.  And for the first little bit we didn't even know if she'd wake up.   I can't even tell you the gratitude we feel when we look at how far she's come.  Her eyesight continues to improve, she's walking, and talking and understanding.  She definitely has a ways to go still, and she'll need to continue with some pretty intense outpatient therapy when we get home, but I just feel so much peace now when I think of her future.  We have truly seen the hand of the Lord in her life every single day since this happened, and I know we will continue to see it.

I think us getting out of here is happening none too soon.  Apparently I am driving her crazy.  Tonight she told me she was going to pull the curtain down the middle of the room so we could each have our own space-ha ha She gets frustrated because she is still forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.  This memory thing is really strange.  They have been so encouraged in therapy because her memory  definitely is improving.  Now she can mostly tell you what happened yesterday and during the week, and also the things I've told her the day before.  And her long term memory is great.  Today they decided in therapy they wanted to make cookies tomorrow and she said, "Oh, I have this great recipe, which she then rattled off without blinking an eye.  And it was a long recipe!  (Maybe we make cookies too much???)  Anyway, it's just the things that happened five minutes ago that she can't remember.  It's really maddening.  She'll order something for dinner and then five minutes later want to order something else because she doesn't remember ordering dinner.  Or she'll be talk- texting a friend and by the end of the text forget who she is texting-ha ha  (So friends, just an FYI-if you get a  text from her that doesn't really make sense you'll know she just forgot that she was talking to you.  Don't take it personally!)  Sometimes it seems funny, and you just have to laugh about it or you'll go crazy.   But I know it's so frustrating for her.  So I'm praying that with a little more time this too shall pass and she'll be able to look back on all these things and see the humor.  Right now she's NOT laughing.  If you are looking for something specific to pray for, that'd be a good one.  We appreciate all your prayers.  They give us the strength to face each new adventure.  We love you!

Monday, March 27

Hannah had a good day.  Once a week she gets graded, so to speak, on goals they have set for her the previous week.  Everything has to be done by Monday night because they meet to discuss the patients on Tuesday morning.  She is acing her goals this week.  I'm hoping they will re-evaluate her release date.  I really feel like she's ready to go home.  She'll still be doing a lot of outpatient therapy when we get home-probably for a long while-but I think being home would be the best thing for her.  We'll see if they listen to the mama.  Don't they know moms always know best?!
She sure worked hard today in therapy though.  Tonight her legs were pretty shaky and she started seeing double, both of which happen when she is tired.  Hopefully as she builds up her strength those things will go away.  A few week ago our family was talking about how much effort Hannah has to put forth to do this therapy.  She really is giving it all she's got.  Luke said, "Can you imagine what we could all accomplish if we put forth that much effort in what we are doing everyday?"  Luke's pretty sure he could be a millionaire -ha ha But his comment reminded me of something President Hinckley had said about doing our best.  I can't remember his exact words but something about how if we really are doing our best, it is good enough.  But that we need to be honest with ourselves about what our best  really looks like.  Aughhh that is so true!  I know that too often I am guilty of being lazy and not giving my best effort to things that are important.  It's so easy to become content with mediocre.   But I must say watching these kids struggle and fail and struggle some more to get even the tiniest gain has been awe inspiring. I feel like I am watching a Hannah version of "Rocky" every day. The only thing we're missing is the music.  Pretty awesome stuff.

Sunday, March 26

Hannah seems to love Sundays.  It's the only day she doesn't have therapy and can mainly just do whatever she wants, which usually means just hanging out with family and friends.  She also loves going to church.  Today was probably the last week at this ward since next week we have General Conference. We have sure met some incredible people in this ward and will be sad not to see them anymore.  The Bishop was saying how the dynamics of this ward are so different.  You come to love the families but then you are happy to see them go because it means they don't need to be here anymore-and that's always a good thing. There is something really humbling about this ward though.  I usually can't get through the sacrament without being emotional.  I think the spirit is extra strong because of all these amazing children.  One of the speakers today happened to be a member of the stake presidency and also a doctor.  He referred to the opening prayer that had been given where the man had asked in his prayer to bless all the doctors and medical people who help our children, that they would be guided and blessed.  He told about being in the operating room where a young woman had just given birth and then went into cardiac arrest.  They worked on her for 45 minutes before they were finally able to revive her.  Afterwards, she told about the experience she had while they were working on her.  She had been watching the whole scene play out, and she said told them that every one in the operating room had an angel with them, helping them and guiding them as to what to do.  He went on to tell about how he has felt divinely guided on many different occasions about what to do for a patient, and how the prayers that we offer up are real and powerful.  I loved what he had to say, and I know it is true.
This week Taylor wanted to read some of Hannah's medical records while he was here.  I tried to discourage him from reading it because I knew the report about the night she almost died was kind of graphic and would be upsetting.  Bob had read it and told me a little bit about it but I hadn't wanted to read it.  Anyway, Taylor and I both ended up reading part of it.  Truthfully, that night is such a blur now, and I'm sure the doctors had told us a lot of the things that were in that report, but I hadn't remembered them (probably on purpose).  But as I read what  happened in the operating room, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the only way she could have survived that night was through divine intervention.  It wasn't just one or two things either, it was a whole series of things that fell into place to create a miracle. I know as crazy and chaotic as things appeared to be that night, she was truly in God's hands.
Today as the Bishop was telling Hannah good-bye, I heard him tell her, "Hannah, you are going to change the world someday."  I think she already has.

Saturday, March 25

Hannah's feeling much better today.  She quit throwing up and was able to do her therapies this morning.  In speech they had her working with an iPad and it seemed like she was seeing things better than even a week ago.  I know she has real issues with depth perception and blurriness, but it's hard to know how bad it is.  I'm just grateful it seems to be getting somewhat better.
She also had a great day with friends and family.  Aunt Margy was here this morning which always makes Hannah happy (and me too!), and then tonight we had some friends come and we were able to go out to dinner with them and to a movie.  I was worried maybe we were doing too much and that she would be exhausted but she did fine-I think she's getting her strength back.  Anyway, so good to spend time with everyone.  It's so nice to leave the hospital and just do something normal.  It was also so great to spend time with the people we love.  We honestly are so blessed to have the most unselfish, kind and caring human beings as our friends!  And just an FYI, if you haven't seen the new Beauty and the Beast movie you definitely should, it was awesome!!!
Well, I'm going to cut this short because Hannah needs some attention.  I've also noticed the later I write the blog, the crazier they sound in the morning, so I 'll try to stop while I'm ahead tonight. ha ha
Thanks so much for all your prayers, love and support.  We sure love you!  Good night.

Friday , March 24

Last night right when I finished writing the blog, Hannah started throwing up.  And she was sick all night and this morning.  This afternoon they put an I.V. back in because she was dehydrated and also so they could give her some medicine for the nausea. Tonight she seems better.  Hope it was just a 24 hour thing.  There should be a rule that if you've had a stroke you are immune from all other ailments for at least 6 months-ha ha   If only life worked that way. . .
There are just three teenagers in rehab right now-Hannah,  a 14 year-old girl and the 17 year old boy I have talked about.  Today he went home.  Hannah didn't even get to say good-bye because she was sick but he sent her a message telling her good-bye.  As happy as I am for him, it was kind of sad.  These three kids are all pretty different, and probably wouldn't even be friends under different circumstances.  But here they have come together because of their similar situations, and I know they all feel a special bond with one another.  No one else can really understand what they are going through.  Even though their situations aren't identical, all of them were living normal lives a couple of months ago and then overnight their lives were turned upside down.  It's been nice for them to have someone else who understands what that's like. We will miss him and I hope and pray that things will go well for him. I've also been thinking that when the time comes we will feel guilty going home and leaving our other friend.  She's going to be here awhile.  But I definitely feel so grateful for these sweet, determined, and courageous kids who have been able to love and support one another.

I've been thinking about the things we are able to do when love is our motivator. Next door there's a darling boy, I think he's about ten, who was in an accident.  I think his parents must have to work and they live pretty far away, but his grandparents, who are probably in their late 70's, are here EVERY DAY AND NIGHT! And they have been here since NOVEMBER!  I frequently complain about the situation we find ourselves in, mostly just in my head but sometimes not, and then I catch a glimpse of those sweet grandparents caring tirelessly for their grandson and I feel so ashamed.  They are so amazing!  This is hard stuff being up here 24-7, and it's got to be physically hard on them because they aren't all that young anymore. But here they are every day, with smiles on their faces, caring for this very sweet boy that they so obviously love.  I admire them so much and often find myself wondering how they do it?  The only answer I can come up with is love.  It seems when love is our motivator, we are capable of doing some pretty amazing things!

Thursday, March 23

Hannah had a pretty good day, mixed with some discouraging moments.  She keeps pretty positive most of the time because I think she's starting to realize how much better she's getting and she sees she can do things that she couldn't do last week.  But then she'll have a moment where she goes to do something that before was totally automatic-and realizes she really can't do it now.  Today it was writing.  Let's just say that it's not real legible at this point.  But the good thing is that she knows what the words are supposed to look like, she just can't coordinate her hands well enough to do it.  Three weeks ago she could hardly move her arms, and now she can move her arms and do quite a few things with her hands.  She is improving so much, but not fast enough for her liking.  She feels like she is putting in the work and doing her best and so she should have more immediate results.  I know she will get there though, she is so determined.  If I do anything for her, like take off the lid of the toothpaste, she will ask me to put it back on so she can do it herself.   I've decided the one piece of equipment that they need for the gym that they don't have yet is a is a punching bag.  Every day one of the kids seems to hit their limit, and they need to punch something (or someone).  And the parents could use it too.  ha ha  I do worry about her though because she has a hard time showing any negative emotions.  We are all trying to convince her that being sad and frustrated is part of this process and that it's perfectly normal and appropriate to show it.  Pretending that this is all ok isn't healthy.  At least I tell myself that so that my erratic mood swings and crying spells don't seem so irrational. I'm just really emotionally healthy-ha ha Probably Not.
Tonight though, I was reading some of President Hinckley's writings (he really is one of my all time favorite people) and I came upon a quote that I had forgotten about even though it has hung in our kitchen for years.  It was a good reminder for me that all these hard moments that we get so caught up in WILL eventually pass.  He said:  "It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is.  It all works out.  Don't worry.  I say that to myself every morning.  It all works out in the end.  Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future.  The Lord will not forsake us.  He will not forsake us.  If we put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."
I already know He hears our prayers.  I just needed the reminder that we don't have to fix this all by ourselves and that He is there to lift our burdens.  I'll have to share this with Hannah in the morning.  She needs to remember this too.

Wednesday March 22

Every morning the doctors come in and ask Hannah how she's doing and then they will ask her what month it is.  At first she admitted she had no idea, then she started guessing. Last week she would smile big and say "Spring."  ha ha But today when they asked her she thought for a second and said, "It's March."And then she remembered somebody was coming to visit this morning which almost never happens-I usually have to tell her over and over.  I noticed throughout the day she remembered a lot of random things, like medical terms I couldn't even remember.  She still has a lot of things she can't remember but I know she's doing better.  They also asked her this morning what she had for dinner last night and looked rather disappointed when she didn't blurt it out.  I told them I didn't remember what I had for dinner last night so they shouldn't get too excited.  Of course, lots of times Hannah's memory is better than mine and so they probably think that's not neccesarily a very good gauge.
Tonight she wanted Taylor to do something that he didn't feel like doing and he so he said "how about tomorrow?"  We've all been using that one a little too much because we know she will have forgotten it by the next day and we'll be off the hook.  But tonight she said, "Tay, I'm not crazy anymore so that doesn't work."  ha ha Anyway, it's all progress I think and I'm so happy.
Now that her own situation is becoming better, she is noticing more and more the other kids in rehab.  She wants to be everyone's friend and cheerleader.  I wasn't with her for part of P.T today but I guess while she was in the gym another teenager got super frustrated and started crying and yelling and swearing.  A couple of the therapists told me Hannah just stopped what she was doing and went and tried to help him.  When I walked in everyone was happy and the two of them were playing a game.  She seems to be naturally instinctive about how to help others.  I love that about her.   Someone brought her a plaque yesterday that said: "Have Courage and Be Kind." (It's from the Cinderella movie).  I thought it was a perfect description of Hannah.  Courageous and kind-a good combo!

Tuesday-March 21

Happy spring everyone!  Today was a good day for Hannah.  She really is doing better every day.  We talked to the rehab team and they gave us a release date of April 6.  They said that she is doing fabulous on meeting her goals, but they want to do lots of testing before we leave.  I think most of their concern is her short term memory loss but I do see that improving all the time, so I'm praying it will just continue to do better and they will be so impressed they will send us home early-ha ha That might be some wishful thinking but you need to think big, right?  Today her physical therapist had her on a special bike, riding around outside.  Some guy came riding by on a skateboard going really fast.  Hannah yelled at him, "Hey!  You better slow down or you'll end up in prison like me."  ha ha Oh so sad.  I keep reminding her that if this is a prison, it's pretty luxurious with the room service and all.  She knows it's a good place for her to be right now,  she just hates the fact that she doesn't feel like she has her freedom.  Can't blame her for that.
We have had lots of visitors this week for which we are both so grateful.  They help us to feel connected to what's happening in the outside world and keep us entertained.  So many great friends and family members who have helped us through this.
Tomorrow Meg and her family will leave and Bob and Taylor will come-the changing of the guards! Now that Hannah is regaining her stamina she is not needing to sleep so much and so we stay busy trying to keep her occupied at night.  Jordan and Hannah bought her a nice ukulele last weekend and so after therapy I think we'll start going to the music room.  There is an awesome guy who volunteers there all the time and he is going to help her learn to play again.  He's really talented-great with the kids, can sing, play guitar and a lot of other instruments.   He was telling me that he was riding a long board to work in Provo a few years ago and was hit by a car.  He couldn't walk or talk and wasn't supposed to live, but instead of dying he made a full recovery.  You would never guess that he had been through such a crazy ordeal.  But he's great because he really sympathizes with the kid's struggles and frustrations.   After his accident he had to relearn to play all the musical instruments he knew before, but he did it and now volunteers here about 4 or 5 nights a week.  Such a selfless thing to do.  People constantly amaze me with their goodness.  

Monday, March 20

Aughhh I just fell asleep watching a movie with Hannah so this will be short.  She had a good day.  She knows the rehab team is watching to see how independently she can do things so she's trying so hard to do things on her own.  Yesterday at temple square we came to a place where there was a couple of flights of stairs.  Bob just picked her up and carried her to the top.  She was so mad that she went back down both flights of stairs and then back up on her own.  ha ha  I thought I was bad about trying not to help her, but Bob is the worst!  But despite us, she is doing really well.  Tomorrow the rehab team will conference in the morning and then they meet with me in the afternoon to let me know a target release date.  As much as I want to get out of here, truthfully the thought of doing this on our own petrifies me.  At home she won't be hooked up to heart monitors, she won't have lab draws everyday so we know exactly what's out of whack and what needs balancing, and she won't have the rehab team to support and push her.  I sometimes wonder how we are going to do this?  I know we can and we will but it does seem overwhelming.  On the other hand, I know it would be a good thing for Hannah to be released soon.  She needs to be home with her family and friends because at the end of the day that's the best medicine.  Both yesterday and today she has had friends visit.  She was so happy and the sound of her talking and laughing with them was the most beautiful thing I have heard in a long while.  Who knew something as normal as that could be so wonderful?  It's just so big!
When I think back how things were even two weeks ago,  I feel so grateful I could burst.  I know many of her miracles have happened because of the prayers you have offered and continue to give on her behalf.  So thank you for being part of our miracle.  You are truly the best humans on the planet and we feel more blessed than words can express to have you in our lives.  Thank you!

Pictures

 Saturday at the zoo!

Aahhh... this melts my heart!!

Sunday night

Hannah got another pass for a few hours today and it was the best.  We went to Temple Square and walked around.  The flowers and trees are starting to bloom and everything was so beautiful.  She felt good and loved being outside.  I know she's getting stronger all the time.  Even a week ago she probably couldn't have done that.
Sometimes I get sad when I let myself think of the old Hannah.  I want that girl back!! But I know I need to change my focus from that to instead acknowledging how far she has come the last month.  All the time I see more and more of the old Hannah, but I am really just such an impatient person and sometimes I just want her to be all better RIGHT NOW!  We walked up to the Christus in the visitor's center today. Hannah was sitting in her wheelchair and I was behind her, watching her look at it.  I all the sudden got so emotional thinking how much I wished that the statue of Christ was not a statue at all, but really him.   And how much I would love to push her wheelchair up to him and have him heal her.  I would give anything for that.  But as I thought about it I realized he is healing her, but in His own way and His own time.
Today in church the speaker talked about the sanctifying power of trials.  I know it is true.  People have their free agency to determine how they will react to their difficult times.  Some will become bitter, while others become better. Some will be sanctified and others will not.  But the bottom line is that you have to go through the trial either way, so you might as well learn something from it so that the whole experience was not for nothing.   I remember listening to girl's' testimonies at camp a couple of years ago.  They were all so emotional talking about all the things they had learned at camp.  But I remember after hearing their testimonies, I got up and told them that they HAD learned so much, and they HAD had life changing experiences, but if the things they learned and the experiences they'd had didn't change something about them, then the experience was not very meaningful.  My words have been haunting me-ha ha (Words always come back to bite you in the butt).  Anyway, that thought has been in my mind this week as I have tried to come up with something meaningful and life changing that has come from this trial.   And I know if I was honest and could be more objective than emotional, I could come up with some.  But truthfully I wasn't admitting any answers because it goes against all I feel right now to think or feel grateful for this experience.  I hadn't talked about this with Hannah, but the other night when Bob and I said prayers with her she gave me my answers.  She began her prayer by expressing gratitude for all the things she had learned from this experience,  and then she went on to list them.  They were simple, but so profound!   I think God knows I'm not very sharp sometimes and so He has to give me the answers.  But I'm grateful he did, because I think the answers are changing all of us, for the better.

Saturday night

Today was such a good day.  We got out of the hospital for a few hours and went to the zoo.  It was a really beautiful day and Hannah seemed to love it.  The escape was especially great because we were able to spend the day with friends and family that had come from home.
I've got to say that Hannah really has the best friends a girl could have.  Most people would consider themselves really lucky if they had just one friend who stuck it out with them through thick and thin, but this girl has been blessed with quite a few who fit that description.  They have sacrificed much to spend time with her and let her know she is loved.  I know these friendships have played a big part in her healing.  They have given her strength and courage when she was feeling lost and afraid, and they have played a big part in motivating her to work hard so she can get back home and get on with her life again.   I will be forever grateful to all these amazing friends for sticking by her side during this incredibly trying time.
Lately I keep thinking of a quote that Meg gave in her farewell talk, but I can't remember the whole thing or even who said it.  But the part I remember said:  "You are about to embark on something that will take the whole of you."  I can honestly say that the last 6 weeks have taken the whole of us-especially Hannah.  I recognize nothing in Hannah's life has ever been easy, but now in hindsight I can see how all her hard experiences have helped prepare her for this challenge.  This would have beaten me, but I've realized Hannah is cut from a different cloth.  Her faith puts me to shame sometimes, and her will to overcome obstacles is way beyond ordinary.  I know that is why she is where she is today, and why she will continue to experience miracles every day.
I know I'm supposed to be the mom, the one showing her the way.  But she has really been showing me the way her whole life. I feel so grateful to be able to witness up close and personal the life of this extraordinary girl.   I'm so glad God picked me to be her mom.

Friday night-March 17

  Such a beautiful day here today-it felt like summer!  I think we better enjoy it while it lasts because I did hear it might snow next week?? Anyway, I hope everyone from Idaho enjoys their spring break and ends up somewhere warm!
Hannah had a good day.  Her heart is still having some rhythm issues but they are hoping the increased dose of one of her medicines will fix the problem.  It seems to get a little better every day but it is still nerve wracking!  At night now they turn off the monitor screen in her room because it alarms all night.  Now it just goes to the nurses station so at least we can try and get some sleep.
I went to that Parent Hour today.  Interesting. . . The speaker was great-mostly just there to tell about her experiences with her son and some tips on navigating the challenges of brain traumas.  Her 14 year old son was in a cherry picker at his school and the whole thing tipped over.  Kind of a freak accident.  But most of the meeting was taken up by a mom who was basically having a nervous break down.  I think maybe she'd had a few too many meds to try and help her cope with her situation, and I don't think they were helping! So sad.  People all cope in different ways for sure, but it seems some ways only compound their problems.  I felt bad for her.
Tomorrow we get to escape the hospital for a few hours.  I hope it's as nice as it was today.  Hannah thinks we should go to the zoo, so that's probably where we'll go.  I worry so much about normal things making her too tired but I am happy we get to venture out, even if it's for a short time.  I am starting to see that keeping a person psychologically healthy is about as important as anything, and I'm sure it'll do her some good.  And me!  Jordan and his family are coming so it will be great to spend some time with them.  We sure miss everyone!  But we do know we are in a good place, and that this time is important for Hannah's recovery.  Thank you all so much for your prayers and love.  We are constantly overwhelmed by your kindness.  We love you!
Hope everyone has a wonderful, warm weekend!

Thursday night

When you need this hospital, it is the best place to be.  But it is also such a hard place to be because of all the sad things that are happening to all the children around you. It seems like you are confronted with tragic circumstances everywhere you look.  Hannah's starting to really struggle with the emotional side of seeing sad things every day.  She's so compassionate and tender hearted that it's extra hard for her I think.  One of the kids across from us is having a hard time tonight and she would like nothing more than to go over there and comfort him.  I'm glad she has empathy but I think it's taking it's toll.
Speech is starting to work with Hannah on memory issues. I think it's getting a little better but her short term memory is still hit and miss.  At least she no longer gets upset when someone happens to mention the word "stroke." So I know things are improving but now she KNOWS she can't remember things and that's frustrating.  But I guess that's a step above not remembering and not knowing you're not remembering-ha ha She has started saying to people, "mmmm I don't remember that-I have amnesia."  Today the speech therapist was doing some exercise with her to see what her long term memory was like.  She was firing off these random questions and Hannah was supposed to answer them quickly.  The therapist said, "name a U.S. president whose name starts with J." Apparently Hannah couldn't think of one so she blurts out-"Trump-he's a JERK!.. . . Does that count?"  ha ha The lady just started laughing.  So at least we know her memory is still intact as far as her feelings for Trump-ha ha
Tomorrow they have a parent hour.  It's where someone comes and talks about their experiences while they were at Primary's.  Tomorrow it's a mom who is talking about the recovery of her son who had very similar problems to Hannah's,  although his was a traumatic brain injury.  But the therapists told me he went through this whole memory thing too, and he has made a good recovery.  So I'm anxious to hear what she has to say, and I hope we can also meet her son.  I think Parent Hour is such a good thing, just to give people some hope.  Today in physical therapy, some mom was in there with a teenage daughter who looked about how Hannah looked three weeks ago.  I so wanted to go and hug that sad mom and tell her that it will get better.  When things seem so desperate, it's easy to lose hope. And that's not a good place to be.  So hopefully we will get to know that mom and daughter and be able to talk to them.  

Wednesday night

Good day today.  Sometimes when Hannah comes back to her room after therapy she falls onto her bed and can't move a muscle.  But I'm proud that she's working so hard.  There is a boy who uses the gym a lot of days at the same time.  He's Hannah's age and a BMX rider-I can't remember if I've told you about him before? Anyway, he was telling us today that he was in a race in Ca. and he flew over a ditch and was knocked out.  The next three riders to jump the ditch hit and ran over him.  He calls himself the human speed bump-ha ha  But he actually broke every bone in his back.  Apparently when the accident happened it was raining and so the life flight helicopter wouldn't pick him up.  So they put him in the back of a truck and took him to get help-2 1/2 hours away!!  They thought he was going to die, and when he lived they told him he would be paralyzed.  But he's got a lot of movement in his arms now and he's working so hard to be able to walk again.  But it is torture to watch him because he has to work so hard.  I keep wanting to run over and help him.  It's bad enough watching Hannah.  Today I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't help her.  And I'm sure they'd like to put duct tape on my mouth as well.  Maybe moms shouldn't go to therapy?  At the meeting I had with the therapists yesterday they warned me how tough it would be not to help her as she struggles to do things for herself.  They said that maybe I could have a talk with my family and tell them to back off and let her try to be more independent??? So I'm thinking to myself-"We don't do that!  What are they talking about?"  But then I walked into her room last night and Taylor was CARRYING her!  ha ha (She can totally walk now with a little help). So I gave Taylor the talk.  He didn't like it either.  I have to keep repeating, "Tough Love, Tough Love, Tough Love."  I'm really bad at that.
Hannah is becoming really close with the people who work with her.  Saturday she gets to leave the hospital for a few hours and I heard her ask one of her therapists if she'd like to go to the zoo with us- and then when she was getting a massage, she invited the massage therapist to Idaho Falls for a visit.  Both said they would come-ha ha She does have the gift of making friends whoever she goes.  It reminded me of her first birthday party. I think she was 4 or 5 and I was asking which friends she wanted to invite and she started rattling off all the names of the lab people at the hospital who took her blood. ha ha Although they were and still are her cherished friends!  So she's been blessed with a lot of good people who have helped her in life, and I'm glad she loves and appreciates them.
Uncle Paul left and dad is back.  She will miss Uncle Paul and the bags of junk food he continually hauled in-ha ha The junk food might not be so good for her but Paul sure is!  Bob's just been gone since Sunday and is once again amazed at her progress.  Good to see she is still improving all the time.  Thanks again for all your prayers and love.  It continually sustains us!  Good -night!

Tuesday night

Hannah's day was good.  She is doing really well in all her therapies and all the therapists have been really positive about her progress.  On Tuesday afternoon they have a parent meeting and go over all the reports from the therapists.  They said that everything seems to be moving in the right direction. They also tell us the goals for Hannah for the week ahead and give us a predicted release day.  Today they said 2-4 weeks.  Aughhh that seems so far away but time actually goes pretty fast here.  Although she told me tonight she kind of feels like she's in jail.  They do have an ankle bracelet on her with a sensor that goes off if she leaves the hospital if she hasn't been cleared.  Twice we have had security chase us down when the clearance didn't work right.  It adds a little excitement to our day.  ha ha  I thought the whole ankle bracelet was a bit over the top but then yesterday I saw the security hauling some boy back who apparently had escaped.  He looked like he was only about 8 years old. So I guess they are justified with the crazy ankle bracelet.
Her heart settled down with the new medicine.  I'm hoping it stays that way.  Kind of a scary night last night.  I had been hesitant to have Hannah come to the rehab floor because she has to be on monitors all the time for her heart and on this floor the nurses aren't trained in cardiac care.  But last night when I was hitting my sleep-deprived limit, the nurse came in and said, "You know how lucky you guys are?  I'm a cardiac nurse and I know all about this stuff.  My whole job tonight is to watch her monitor, so you go to sleep and I will wake you up if anything changes."  I wanted to kiss her, but I was too tired-ha ha So I slept and she watched Hannah's monitors for about 8 hours.  I don't think it was luck, I think God knows our limits and continually blesses us with tender mercies to get us through.
Every night we try and say prayers together.  Hannah's prayers are a very humbling affair. She talks to God like he is her best friend. And tonight I noticed she thanked Him for so many things and never asked Him for one thing.  That's probably why he likes to bless her so much.  Hannah has always had a close relationship with her Heavenly Father,  she has relied on Him her whole life.  But something about what she experienced last month has changed her, and instead of just believing in Him, it's like she really knows Him.  Like I said, listening to her pray is humbling!

Pictures from Sunday

                                                         Sunday bunch

                                     Facials anyone?  We promise a glowing complexion!

Tuesday morning

Hannah's heart was pretty crazy all night but it has settled down a little bit today.  They doubled up on her beta blocker to see if that will help.  Right after they gave her the new meds, she went to physical therapy and got sick.  It made her feel light headed and nauseated.  Anyway, she looks better now.  So many of her issues are from the side effects of her medications, but I don't know what you do.  I guess you have to pick the lesser of two evils, and right now getting her heart back in rhythm trumps everything else.
In the night I was super frustrated with the doctor who was on call from Cardiology.  So when the new guy on came in this morning I wasn't in a good place to talk diplomatically.   Hannah could see I was getting mad and so she started yelling, "BE NICE!  BE NICE!  BE NICE! Another doctor said, "Your mom is always nice." and she said. "No, sometimes she's not."  ha ha My true self has been revealed.  Anyway, the new guy agreed with me 100% and promised to talk things over with the team.  I'm trying to teach Hannah that you can disagree and still be nice but sometimes when I am sleep deprived and frustrated I need her to remind me.  And she's very good at that. ha ha
So hopefully this medicine will work.  It's really hard on her when her heart is out of sync-it's working double time and really wears her out.  It's funny how every other time she's been here at Primary's it's been for her heart, and this time around we have worried about almost every other organ but her heart?!  Maybe it has been feeling left out and just wanted some attention.  ha ha I'll write tonight and let you know the update.  Thanks for your prayers everyone!

Monday night

Hannah is a funny girl.  The nurses will often say things like "Would you like to take your pills?"  "Would you like to go to therapy?" "Would you like to go shower now?" She thinks its dumb that they ask her when it's not really an option so she has started saying,  (in her most polite voice) "Is that optional?" And almost always they say, "No." And she says, "Oh."  ha ha   So today since about 4:30 this afternoon her heart has gone into some crazy arythmia.  They've been watching it close and called a few doctors in.  One just left who said they will just watch it tonight and cardiology will see her in the morning.  Anyway, Hannah says; "Well, would a pace maker be optional?"  ha ha They just looked at her like she was crazy.  I thought it was a good question.
So I think we are in for a long night.   I know I need to look away from the monitor and try to go to sleep but I can't.  I have this very irrational thought in my very tired brain that says if I watch the monitor all night everything will be ok.  So far that's not working out but you never know when it might actually start???  People were probably happier before these monitors were invented.  Ignorance is bliss.  I'm pretty sure I need to quit writing now to give my full attention to this beautiful blinking monitor, but I will let you know tomorrow how everything turned out.  I'll try to write an update in the morning.  Good night.  Please pray for Hannah Rigby tonight.

Sunday night

Really good day today.  Hannah was able to go to church with us and l think she loved doing something familiar and normal.  I even saw her singing the songs.  In this ward they sing primary songs a lot of the time instead of hymns.  I always love them.  As we were singing one today I was thinking about how simple the message was, but how it really summed up everything important.  Sometimes we tend to make things so complicated, when really they're not.  I think that's why Jesus told us to be like little children.  They are so good at simplifying the things we try to make hard;  having faith, loving others, trying to be like Jesus.  Just the basics.  If we could do these few things well, our world would be so much better!
Hannah's one day off of therapy is Sunday.  So that's the day that she is able to have visitors and spend time with so many people she loves.  She had a lot of visitors today who showed up to go to church with us.  Zoe had come to spend the weekend with Hannah but ended up getting the flu and instead spent most of the weekend throwing up in her hotel room.  I felt so bad for her. But Hannah loved the time they did get to spend together.    One of Hannah's seminary teachers also came by this afternoon and she was happy to see him.  Her seminary class has been so great to her.  They have been doing her assignments for her so she won't have to make them up.  Such amazing teenagers!
Hannah spent a lot of the day with some friends from home who were really good sports about her idea of entertainment.  It involved them getting their nails done (they are boys) and maybe some facials. . .?  Hmmm we won't say any names but there may be some pictures forthcoming.  Anyway, they really made her happy.  That's sacrifice!  Tonight Taylor and his roommate and Sierra and Brooke came.  Because we were all really tired we spent a lot of time laughing at stuff that wasn't funny.  ha ha  Anyway, thanks everyone who came and brightened our day.  It's so great for Hannah to have a day like today so she can gear up for the rest of the week.
Tonight after everyone had left she decided she wanted something from the cafeteria.  I told her I'd go get it and be right back.  When I walked back into her room her bed was empty and my heart felt like it dropped to the floor.   I raced to the bathroom and there she was-all casual as if she did that everyday-ha ha I looked back at her bed and the rails were still up.  She had to straddle her legs over the rails to get out and then walk by herself .  She is pretty steady walking now but this weekend one leg has been shaking really hard (she says her leg is having a seizure) and so we have been helping her walk everywhere. When I realized what she had just done I about had a heart attack.  I said, "Hannah, what were you thinking!!!?"  She said, "uhhhh. . . that I had to go?" ha ha Guess that says it all.  Needless to say I don't think I'll be making any more cafeteria runs for her.

As always, we are amazed and humbled by all of you who continue to pray for Hannah and love our whole family through this ordeal.  We are so blessed.  If we live to be a million years old we will not be able to repay all the kindness, but hopefully someday we will find a way to pay it forward.   Thank you.

Saturday March 11

It was such a gorgeous day here!  It's amazing what a beautiful sunny day can do for you.  Hannah went outside for a little bit for physical therapy and I went on a walk with Stef.  We are both feeling like new women!  She did great in therapy.  We see improvements every day- today when she showered she was able to lift her hands above her head to wash her hair, and that is something she definitely couldn't do last week.  She is eating better,  although we have to keep sneaking in food that's not really on her diet.  But in our defense there are not many things that sound good to her so when she says she will eat something we usually try to get it. Today the speech therapist peeked in while she was eating Subway-ha ha NOT on her diet.  I hurried and hid it but when she came in later she said, "Is your mom still sneaking you in food?"  So. . . guess we aren't too sneaky. Anyway, after seeing how capable she was downing a Subway sandwich, they changed her diet to more normal food.   Hopefully now she can find things that she likes.  I really hope she can get her appetite back because she has lost quite a bit of weight and she is way too skinny.
She loves weekends because she always has visitors.  They keep her happy.  Sure grateful for everyone who takes the time to come and visit her and help her know she is loved and missed.  She's really getting homesick though.  I guess it's a good thing they keep her so busy so she doesn't have too much time to dwell on it.  I hope the next few weeks will go by quickly!
Well, hope you are all enjoying beautiful weather wherever you are!  We are both so tired tonight so we are going to sleep.  Thanks again everyone for all your love and support.  We love you!

Friday night-March 10

Hannah had a good day.  The rehab people are working hard to make her as independent as possible.  Every week they do an assessment on their goals for Hannah and see how independently she can do different tasks. They started off the day today by telling her they needed to see how well she could shower herself.  Yeahhh right. . . She's so funny though, she just politely said "I think I'll pass on that."  ha ha I don't really think that was one of their options but it worked for today.  I'm doubtful it will work tomorrow.
I usually walk to the gym to see her do therapy.  We sure see a lot of sad situations.  A lot of times I get discouraged watching how hard things are for Hannah, but today I realized they are working her so hard because they have hope that she's really going to get better.  Some of the therapies for the other kids are geared more towards helping them better navigate their new situations.  You see these kids dealing without a lot of emotions;  frustration, anger, defeat.  But then some days are good and you see a  sense of hope and accomplishment kick in as they are able to do something that they haven't been able to do before.  That's the rewarding part and I'm sure what keeps the therapists going. They definitely have emotionally challenging jobs.  Yesterday Hannah did something hard and Bob gave her a hug.  Another 17 year old boy said, "I need a hug too."  I asked Bob if he gave him a hug and he said "no." ha ha  I will have to track down him down and hug him.
This afternoon the Sheehy family arrived to spend some time with us.  They are always such good medicine.  Abbey and Zoe are planning on spending the day tomorrow entertaining and pampering Hannah.  I think Hannah has begun to enjoy these spa days, massages, heated blankets and room service a bit too much!  I hope she realizes that will not be continuing when we get home.  If she wasn't sick she might mistake this place for a five star hotel.  Too bad about the sick part.  ha ha. This really is such a amazing place though.  They do so much to engage the kids and focus on healing the whole child.   Being sick or hurt is traumatic for anyone, but I think especially frightening for kids.  This hospital just does an incredible job of making a hard, scary experience as good as it can possibly be.
Hannah also had some other friends that she loves come for a visit tonight.  I hope her friends know how much it means to her to have them take the time to visit her and give her a hug.  She really is getting homesick but visits help so much.
Today while Hannah was at physical therapy one of her favorite friends from the hospital (and mine) came in and hung a picture on the wall that says "In His strength I can do all things."  It's at the end of the bed where Hannah can see it every day.  Such a good thing to be reminded of!  Thank you Julieanne! No wonder Hannah loves you so much.
Hope you all have a great weekend.  Thanks so much for all you do for the Hale family-we appreciate your love and prayers more than you know!!!

Thursday night

Today was another good day.  The best part of the day was when the eye doctors came in to test her eyes again and they were amazed because they had significantly improved since Monday!  Truthfully, the dr. was kind of pessimistic on Monday about how much she was seeing and we were pretty discouraged.  But the last couple of days we have noticed she is able to focus her eyes better, and she started to ask to watch t.v. once in awhile.  I also had her read something today and she could do it.  She said her eyes are a lot less blurry and she really can see better.  I can't even tell you how happy and grateful that makes me.  The brain is such a mystery!  We never know what to expect but feel such gratitude when we continue to see miracles like this.  Sometimes I feel greedy asking for more blessings, more miracles.  But then I remind myself that God is really just a loving father who wants to bless us, so I ask.
Today they called a Code Blue in the cafeteria.  Hannah was so upset.  I think all the drama we saw in the PICU has stayed with her.  Anyway, she asked if we could pray for that person.  Lately, I have been saying all our prayers because it's hard for her to get all the words out that she wants to say, but today she wanted to say it and it was the most perfect, beautiful prayer I've ever heard.  Honestly, I am so sad about the things this girl has had to endure.  But I must admit I know she is a different, and better person than she would have been had she not had these experiences.  She, of course, would be an amazing girl no matter what- but these experiences have changed her into such a compassionate, empathetic, and loving human being!  When she wanted to pray for that person today, it reminded me of when she was little she would always want to say a prayer when she saw a helicopter or an airplane in the sky.  She had been life flighted several times when she was young and so she just figured everyone who was in a plane or helicopter was on a life flight and needed her prayers.  Let me tell you we prayed for a lot of frequent fliers-haha  My family always wondered why I went along with it and didn't explain it to her (I actually did) but I really hate flying and I always figured a prayer couldn't hurt those people who were being hurled through the sky in a big aluminum can.  It only helped I'm sure.
We had my niece and her family come and visit us tonight.  I was telling them a story and Bob said, "I'm pretty sure you just told them that."  I was sure he was mistaken but my niece finally admitted I was on round 2.  Honestly, I am losing my mind!   Later I had to run to another floor to use a computer and coming back I went to the wrong floor-twice!  I'm pretty sure people are going to start thinking I had the stroke.  I think I need to sleep.  So if I repeat myself in the blog or ramble like a crazy person, you will know that I am a sleep deprived crazy person.  One day all the adrenilin we've been running on is going to run out and we are going to go to sleep for a month.  Hopefully Hannah is up and running at that point and can take care of us!  She owes us, right?  ha ha Good-night everyone.  Please keep praying for miracles.  We love you all!

Wednesday night

Hannah had a good day.  She is finally now a member of the rehab unit!  Therapy totally wears her out but she is working hard.  Bob got back and was so excited because he saw a lot of improvement from just three days ago.  She is making up for her lost month of no talking and pretty much talks non- stop.  You can't understand it all, but it's getting better and better.  Her voice doesn't sound like her normal voice, but the speech therapist explained today that it's just going to take time to strengthen all of her muscles used for speaking.  But today I noticed when she laughed it was starting to sound like her.  They had someone come and evaluate her in occupational therapy today because the O.T. had been worried that Hannah wasn't seeing things.  But the specialist thinks it's just a processing issue and that they were overwhelming her by having her do too many things at once.  Too much stimulation confuses her, so they are going to try and focus on one thing at a time.
We are both so glad to have Bob back, but sad to see Margy go.  I appreciate my family so much for coming to help us.  They are the best!
Hannah also went outside today.  It was only for about 5 minutes but it was such a beautiful day today and she loved it.  I hope it stays nice so we can do more of that.
Well, long day and we are all tired.  Good night everyone!

Tuesday night

We are getting settled in our closet very nicely-ha ha It IS really small but we had Megan take a lot of our things home and so it's fine.  The doctor told her it's not about the size of the room, it's all about location, location, location. ha ha  And she is close to all her therapies so it's good.  They said today that they are hoping to get her into the program by the end of the week.  I hope so!  She is working her little tail off so I'm hoping it pays off soon.  They told us it would probably be 3-5 weeks after she is admitted.  At least we can see the light at the end of the tunnel (although it seems like a pretty long tunnel sometimes).  She does well at both physical therapy and speech but the occupational therapy is really hard.  I think most everything she does in there deals with her brain's processing abilities-and although it's getting better all the time,  I see it is such a struggle  for her to attempt to do things that she has been automatically doing for most of her life.  It requires a lot of focus and concentration and it totally wipes her out.  It's also really hard to watch.  Meg went with her for the first session today and I could tell she was pretty sad afterwards.
Robbie, Meg, and Henry went home today.  Now that Henry is crawling like a crazy boy and chewing on everything he can get his mouth on, we have decided the hospital waiting room really isn't the place for him.  It's hard on Meg either way.  When she's at home she wants to be here, and when she's here she knows that it's not really good for Henry.  But I hope Robbie and Meg know how much we have appreciated all their help.  They are the best!  I really don't know what we would have done without them.
My sister Margy, and also Taylor were here today.   Hannah was so happy to see both of them.  Taylor had her playing UNO tonight and Hannah told me he was cheating.  He said, "I was just trying to help her win."  But she wanted none of that pity stuff and wanted to play right, and then she won and called him a loser.  ha ha Such thanks!  Tonight I was trying to scoot her up in bed.  If Bob or one of her brother's do it, they have her up in no time flat.  But when I do it, I count 1, 2, 3 and on 3 she is supposed to help.  Well, what always happens is she moves basically NOT AT ALL!  So tonight when I was trying to do it she looked at me very pathetically and said, "You are weak sauce."  ha ha I admit it, I am!  Maybe while she is doing physical therapy I should attempt to life some weights.
One of her cousins also visited tonight.  Hannah and he have an interesting relationship and like to argue.  He was kind of teasing her and she was getting mad, but when he left she wanted me to hurry and text him and tell him that she loved him and his wife.  ha ha So Sweet!

I started this blog so I could keep everyone updated on Hannah.  I also thought that when Hannah is better she might want to read it to know what was going on while she was sleeping, and then recovering.  The thing I hadn't really planned on, but something that has turned out to be the best thing about the blog is that I have been able to write about the many miracles we have seen on this journey.  One of my favorite talks by Henry B. Eyring was the one he gave about journal writing.  He said that it was so important to keep a journal so that later on you would be able to look back and see the hand of the Lord in your life.  And I have become a believer in this.  Sometimes it is easy to forget the details, and how everything miraculously fell into place.   But when you write it down you can go back and see that it was all real.  The comforting thing to me about all of that is when you know He has been there to help you through the hard things of your past, you can also know that He will be there for the hard things in your future.  And that's probably something we all need to know!
Good-night everyone.  Thank you for your continued prayers for Hannah's recovery.

p.s. I so want to post a picture of our beautiful new grandson, but not only am I weak but also technologically challenged, so I have to wait until one of my kids comes-ha ha How sad.

Monday night

Hey everyone-good but busy day for Hannah. She did well in therapy and also had her eyes tested today. Bottom line on the eye test is that they still don't know. Her vision problems are because of the brain injury, not her eyes. Hoping that will also improve with time. She also had Sierra come today and some friends from home so that was good therapy for her as well.
Best news of the day is that she is now an aunt to a very beautiful perfect baby boy named Winston. We can't wait to see him in person but today we are feeling grateful for Face Time. PRECIOUS!!!!
We got moved tonight to the rehab floor. We are not in the program yet ( I've decided it's like trying to get your kid into Harvard)! But we'll be closer to the services she's getting every day.We were sad to leave the 3rd floor because we were very attached to everyone there but I'm sure these people will become our friends too. The room is really small though and when we came in Hannah said "I live in a closet now-like Harry Potter." She's kind of right. Ha ha My internet is not working tonight so Meg is helping me get this posted. Hope she can post it and that tomorrow my computer will be working!
Note from Meg: I am so happy to see that Hannah is improving and smiling so much. She still has her cute little personality and it always brightens our day. This morning she kept saying something and then laughing so hard at her own joke. By the fourth time she repeated it (we have to have her repeat a lot so we can understand what she is saying) she was laughing so hard she was in tears. Haha, she is such a cutie. We sure love her!

Sunday night

Today was a great day.  Things seems so much easier when the family is here.  Lots of people to entertain her and keep her mind off things.  She is starting to get back her appetite and will suddenly get some really crazy cravings.  Her dad and brothers spent a good chunk time running to get her whatever sounded good.  I think she is really starting to like all this TLC.  She might come home a spoiled girl???
She was sad when her dad and brothers left tonight.  She told Bob she just wanted to go home with him.  He had to leave fast before he started crying.  But she usually doesn't stay in a sad state of mind for too long and she was fine when she went to sleep.
Her memory from before the stroke seems to all be intact (for which I am so grateful)!  But things that happened after are still a big blur.  Every day she will ask us what happened.  We explain it over and over but she always forgets.  So it seems everyday the word "stroke" will comes up, either in the course of our conversations or by a Dr. or nurse, and everyday she says, "I had a stroke?!" She is always so shocked to learn (once again) what happened.  It's sad because every time it is like it's the first time she's hearing it and she gets so upset.  Taylor got to explain it for the last time tonight and he was so patient and loving with her.  Anyway, I talked to some nurses about it and they seemed to think this will all improve with more time.  It's weird though because most things she seems to have no problem remembering.  But once in awhile there is something that she forgets over and over.  A good friend gave her some really cute Converse high tops this week that she loves.  She's had lots of people in her room this weekend and they keep commenting about how much they like the shoes.  Every time she will look at them and say, "those are mine?!" And every time she gets super excited and I tell her who gave them to her and she is so happy.  ha ha  (So Makelle-you can be happy knowing your gift is one of those that just keeps on giving. . .)  Meg says we are living the movie 'Fifty First Dates." True!  But hopefully this will pass. I'm sure it has to feel so scary to be so confused.
She is really excited tonight because we think by morning she will have her new niece or nephew!!! I can't think of anything that could make her happier.  So glad that we are getting another precious baby in our family to love.  Can't wait!
Hope you all had a great weekend.  We sure miss everyone.  Thank you so much for all your encouragement and love.  You're the best!

Pictures

Sleeping Beauty

Love this bunch!

Saturday afternoon with sweet friends. 

Saturday night

I should know by now that when Hannah has a really hard day  (like yesterday) it is almost always followed by a really AWESOME day.  And it was.  I think God knows we can only handle a bad day every so often, and in between we need a lot of good days to carry us through.  I'm so thankful that He knows us so well.
Part of the reason today was so good was because she had a lot of family here, and also some great friends from home came to spend some time with her this afternoon. She loved spending time with everyone and was awake almost the whole day.  She got up really early and so I kept waiting for her to zonk out but she never really did until tonight.  But I think she will sleep well!
Her therapies went well and she was able to keep the feeding tube out which was so great!  Not being attached to an I.V. pole gives her a lot more freedom and she's able to get out of her room now.  I'm hoping tomorrow she'll be able to go to church.  The other thing she has been able to do the last few days is give hugs.  She's always so loving and hugging everyone is such a part of her personality, so it's just like we have got another important piece of her back. So grateful for all of these things.  They may seem like small things, but they feel huge to us.
No matter how good her day is, she usually has at least one meltdown.  I think all her anxiety and frustrations just build as the day goes on, and when everyone is around she tries to be so positive, but when she gets tired and everyone but mom goes home, she usually just lets it all out.  It is so sad to watch but I think being able to release all that pent up frustration is probably a healthy thing. I told her it's a healing thing to do, but that it's important to laugh more than we cry and we've been pretty good to stick to that.  It seems weird to think that there is a lot of humor going on up here, but you'd be surprised.  Maybe we are just so sleep deprived that things really aren't funny, but we think they are.  I'm not sure.  But I do know Hannah has a gift at seeing the funny side of things.   Her easy- going personality has definitely helped her navigate this hard journey.
Today she was wondering about school and I told her we were going to forget about school for the rest of this year.  She looked so shocked and said, "I'm going to be a Super Sr.?  ha ha   Oh. . .  maybe so?  I don't really know.  But it's all good either way.  I' m realizing how this whole thing has put life into a very clear perspective. Five weeks ago I was so stressed out because she was missing so much school because of her gall bladder issues, and now I'm wondering what my problem was.  We can really make ourselves miserable when our perspective gets out of whack.  Just a good lesson for me to keep my eye on the big picture, and not stress the rest.
Last night I was so discouraged because she'd had such a hard day.  She woke up at 4:30 this morning when they came to draw labs.   She was in a much better mood after sleeping.  She said so clearly, "I love you mom." and then a minute later, "I'm so blessed."  I was totally dumb-founded that those words came out of her mouth after the day she'd had.  But she meant it very sincerely, because that's really how she feels.  Despite all this hard hard stuff, she still sees that life is good and that we are blessed.  I love that.  Just another lesson from my angel daughter.

Friday night

This week we have had lots of forward steps, although today wasn't so great.  I know there will be days like today and I just need to accept they are part of the process-but I want EVERY day to be better and when that doesn't happen it's hard.   She's got really frustrated in therapy today and started to cry.  I can't stand it when I see how overwhelmed and sad she gets.  They were trying to get her to do a puzzle and she just couldn't make her hands do what she wanted.  Later I tried to tell her how much better they are working than they were a few weeks ago, but she can't remember that.  She's just comparing it to what normal hands are supposed to be doing, and she feels so overwhelmed at how far she has to go.
The doctors have continued to give her a lot of nutrition through her NG tube.  It's important I know-they are trying to give her all the right things so her kidneys will keep working and she can build up her strength.  But it's way too much and so she feels nauseated much of the time, and then of course she doesn't want to eat.  So today she threw up so hard the tube came all the way up from her stomach into her mouth.  The nurse quickly pulled it out through her nose. Pretty gross, but she was happy to have it out.  Well, that joy didn't last long because then they said they needed to put it back in.  She had two panic attacks just thinking about it and I could see that after her discouraging day she was at the end of her rope.  The night nurse agreed with me so we spent a lot of time trying to convince the doctors to leave it out until at least tomorrow.  And they did.  So I pray they can leave it out and that she'll be able to eat and drink enough to keep all her organs (and her drs.) happy!
She had lots of good moments today too.  She had lots of visits from people she loves-and that really cheered her up.  Our good friends from our ward came to see her and brought lots of nice notes and surprises from good friends.  She also got some sweet letters in the mail, so we spent part of the afternoon reading all her notes and letters and it cheered her up considerably.  She started saying today that she just wants to go home.  I couldn't being myself to tell her how much longer we are going to be here.  Sometimes it starts to feel like we are in jail, and even more so for Hannah because she has been pretty confined to her room.  Now that she is free from so many I.V's and tubes, we will have to get her out of her room more.  Therapy will be keeping her more and more occupied too, so that's good.
She has lots of family and friends coming this weekend which should make her happy.  We sure appreciate all of you for taking the time to come visit or to write her an email or note.  It's always good for her to be reminded that she is very loved.  So thank you-we feel blessed!

Thursday night

Sorry for not writing today.  Hannah's days are getting busier so it's harder to find time.  I think from here on out I'll just write in the evening.
She had a really good day.  All her therapies went well.  She still has a crazy headache from the magnesium they are giving her so they told her she didn't have to go to physical therapy but she wanted to go.  She's so tough.  They are still feeding her through the NG tube and then she is supposed to be eating meals too, but she never feels hungry because she's getting so much of the other.  I'm going to talk to them tomorrow about cutting back so she will get an appetite.
She's been trying to tell us her vision has changed.  I think mostly one eye but I'm not sure.  I've been really worried about this because the neurologist had told us that the vision area of her brain was affected but he couldn't say to what extent.  Anyway, today I was cleaning up our room after therapy and she was laying in bed-I thought she was sleeping.  The t.v. had been on but I wasn't really paying attention to it.  All of the sudden she says, "bad show."  So I turn and looked at the tv and it was some survival show where the people were wearing next to nothing-ok actually it looked like nothing.  ha ha I said, "Are those people naked?" And she nodded yes and laughed.  So I guess it's unfortunate she had to see naked people, but I was so happy because I knew she could see the t.v. ha ha 
Meg, Robbie and Henry are back.  Hannah can now go in a wheelchair to the waiting room, so she went a couple of times so she could see Henry.  It was so cute to see how happy they were to see each other.  Although Henry felt it his duty to try and pull her feeding tube out (I think he might be a dr. someday) ha ha He didn't quite succeed but still. . . OW!  Anyway, overall a really good day.  Sure proud of her and how hard she tries.  She's an awesome girl.
         

Wednesday night

Lots of ups and downs today-but tonight ended on an "up" so it was a good way to finish the day.  The last couple of days Hannah has needed some I.V. medicine to balance her electrolytes but the stuff gives her terrible headaches and makes her nauseated so that has been a big bummer.  She tried for a long time to say, "I feel Barfy" and we couldn't get it, so she got upset.  If her speaking frustrations weren't so sad, the whole scenario of all of us guessing what she could be saying would be quite entertaining.  Most of the time we are way off and she looks at us like we are idiots.  Tonight I heard Bob ask, "Does it have something to do with a dinosaur?" ha ha ha (I think he was kidding, but that's basically how our guessing  goes).  It seems if she can calm down, then a lot of times what she's trying to say will just pop out.
One of Hannah's good friends has a sister who is studying speech pathology.  She told us that sometimes when people have a hard time speaking, they can actually sing what they want to say-so  tonight we tried it with her.  She ended up laughing hysterically because her voice sounded so bad.  I think the ventilator tube temporarily damaged her vocal chords, and so her voice is different and did sound a little off, but she could kind of do it.  I'm going to practice some more with her tomorrow.  I was trying to get her to sing Opera, and Bob was working on rap.  She liked the rap better, although I don't even think that counts as singing-at all.
Uncle Paul went home.  He's always so positive with her.  He really should have been a motivational speaker-I think he missed his calling.  Anyway, he was good medicine!  It was great to spend time with him and we'll miss him.  We love and appreciate him so much.
Bob came back tonight and we were happy to see him.  It seems like he and I are a pretty good tag team.  Whenever I feel like I am tapped out on energy, he swoops in and saves the day.  He's such a great dad.
 Thanks so much for your letter, emails, texts, and visits.  You don't know how much that sustains us.  We feel so loved and hope you know how much we love all of you.  Keep praying for Hannah Rigby-she needs the comfort and strength that comes from everyone's prayers.

Wednesday morning

I think I know why Hannah like's to wake up in the wee hours of the morning.  It is her only uninterrupted time to think and be sad.  Lots of times I'll look over and I can tell she's been thinking about everything and she has tears running down her cheeks.  It kills me, but I think it's important that she let it out.  This morning I finally said, "Hannah, this is a hard hard thing and it really sucks that you have to go through it.  I am so sorry and I wish I could do it for you,  but I can't.  But Heavenly Father CAN take your burden and help you carry this heavy load."  We said a prayer then and asked Heavenly Father to help her carry this burden.  She seemed so much more peaceful after that.  About 5 minutes later she said she wanted to get up.  I thought she wanted to go to the bathroom but instead she led me to the shower.  She wanted to get on with things!  It was her first shower since all this happened, and she seemed so much happier.  She even put on regular clothes.  I know she felt better, but I felt a WHOLE LOT better.  She transformed into my old Hannah, not just my sick girl.  Who knew a shower could be so psychologically redeeming?  Now she's probably wishing I'd do the same for her. I pretty much look like I've been camping for a month.  Actually I have.  Last week I invented a new word (these are the musings of a crazy person I know).  The new word is hamping (hospital camping).  I wonder if it's going to catch on and be in the dictionary soon?
This morning she also asked what day it was.  I said, "Wednesday."  She said, "What date?" I told her it was March 1.  She seemed blown away by that bit of information.  I told her she pretty much slept through February, but that it was ok  because February was overrated.  She kind of laughed.  I think the pieces are starting to come together for our girl.  At last.

Tuesday night

It's so weird how tired we all get by night.  I can see why Hannah is tired but the rest of us are dragging around by 8:00.  I guess emotional exhaustion is as real as physical.  It seems by evening Hannah is so tired that everything seems overwhelming and then even the little frustrations are amplified.  Because of this she is usually sad in the evenings and that's hard to watch.  Tonight though I read her some Valentines that her cute cousins sent her, and I also some letters from friends at home and it really seemed to cheer her up.  Hopefully she can sleep well and be ready to go tomorrow.

This hospital has some awesome things to try and help healing.  One thing that has really been helping Hannah is getting massages.  She has been getting really tense from all her frustrations and then this masseuse comes and works his magic and she's a new girl.  I told her not to get used to it but I think she already is.  They also use aromatherapy and she has loved that too.  I think integrating these kinds of things with conventional methods is so great.  I love that this hospital is open new ways of thinking when it comes to healing!

Well, it's 9:00 so I better be getting to bed-ha ha Yes, I am acting like I'm 80 but 3 a.m. comes around fast-that's when they come in to draw labs and wake Hannah up.  Yep-their days start early around this place.  CRAZY!!!  Good night everyone.

Tuesday day

Hannah had been waking up at 3 am for the past few nights and so last night they decided to give her some melatonin at 2.  Yep it worked.  She has pretty much just wanted to sleep today.  She did have the swallow study this morning and it went well.  She can start to eat a little bit-a modified diet that does not include Chik-FilA, but it's a start!  They also will be giving her more therapy time.  The minimum requirement to get into the rehab program is three hours a day, so I think in a few more days she'll be there.  I'm hoping she can start next week.  I'm kind of nervous about the program because it sounds pretty intense, and I hope she will be strong enough for it.  I know it will be good for her but I also think she still needs lots of rest for her brain.  This learning to talk again is a hard hard thing and seems to take so much energy!  I know most the time she is so frustrated, but she really is getting better at letting us know what she's thinking.  Today she was trying to tell us something for the longest time-and the only word I could understand was hungry.  I thought she meant she was hungry, but we finally understood that she was worried about our pets at home being hungry.  I think she doesn't have much faith in her parents to take care of business.  But all is well and no animals have starved to death.  Points for us! Write more tonight.

Monday night

Ok-Apparently there were some of you who thought I was just going to let Hannah go to town on a whole chik-fil- a sandwich (hmmmm like MY OWN CHILDREN)! Give me a little credit-ha ha That wasn't my plan.  But actually when Paul got back with the food she had chickened out of eating the chicken.  She is still really hesitant to eat because she's afraid of choking.   Anyway, Paul said he'll go back tomorrow after her swallow test and get her another one.  At least now we know what sounds good to her.
She is beyond tired tonight.  She worked so hard in therapy and insisted on taking three more short walks.  It's crazy to see how weak you can get after a month of being out of commission.   Needless to say all of that really wore her out.  But she seemed quite proud of herself for walking. I'm happy when she can see that she is making progress- I think it gives her the motivation to keep going and to push herself.
My brother Paul is here for a few days and Hannah seemed really glad to have him come.  We were sitting here tonight talking about all the nice things people have said and done for our family since this all began.  He said, "If we could all just hear these kinds of stories everyday instead of listening to the news, think what a different perspective we would have of the people in this world."  That's so true. I wholeheartedly believe most people are so good, and kind, and compassionate.  But sometimes after watching the news you wonder if anyone has those qualities anymore.  We are so bombarded with the crazy and awful things people are doing in this world that we start to get a warped perspective of what the bulk of humanity is really like.
 My long time wonderful friend came to visit tonight.  She brought an envelope with a lot of money in it.  She told me that her ten year old neighbor had been having bake sales the last few months because she wanted to raise money to help someone.  When she heard about Hannah she decided she wanted to give the money to her.  So she brought it to my friend who brought it to us.  I could hardly believe that someone would want to help a person they had never met in such a generous and Christ-like way.  And to know all the work that had gone in to raising the money (by her and her mom I'm sure) made it even more meaningful.  I went back to Hannah's room and told her.  She got the cutest expression on her face that I have ever seen.  It was a combination of joy and awe.   She couldn't believe someone she didn't know could be so kind.  I hope someday soon we get to met this awesome little girl.  She is the perfect example all the is right in this world.
Today I am so overwhelmed and grateful for the miracles we've seen.  I believe in the power of prayer and I want you to know how thankful we are for all your prayers that have been said on behalf of Hannah.  We couldn't have made it without them and without your love.  Thank you.